Tag Archives: weather

My Impotent Prius

Good Morning, Ladies!

Bails, sorry to hear about Miss Art and the flu shot debacle. I too spent some time in the ER this week (read: FML*). Is there anything else more depressing than the ER? I don’t know what the crowd was like when you were there, but I had a guy with an amputated leg. I assumed he had diabetes or was a war vet, but no. He overdosed on Oxycontin a few months back and had to have his LEG REMOVED. I know this because he sat next to me unwarranted and told me the whole story. The kicker is that he was high on Oxycontin when he was talking to me. He made some comment like, you think idda learned my lesson. Uh, yeah. I think you should have probably learned a lesson from that horrible experience. I’m really glad I kept my drug usage to the occasional joint in college.

*FML: The photo above is what I was doing last weekend. This happened on Black Friday, and yes I’m aware of the irony. Especially since I wasn’t shopping, I was lost in business park hell. I was hit by a non-English speaker whose Xterra was filled to the brim with Ross Dress for Less bags and miscellaneous family members. I later learned she didn’t have a license but a learners permit. She had at least 5 whole seconds to get around me but smashed in to my Prius instead. Regardless of all of these glaring discrepancies about said driver, this accident was my fault since I slid (f*cking ice I will get you back some day) in to the road. Where she had no ice. And 5 seconds to get around me. And nobody next to her in the other three lanes of traffic. Yadda Yadda Yadda, I’m driving a Chevy Cobalt until December 17 and $1,250 poorer since I chose the ridiculous deductible instead of slightly higher monthly payments in an attempt to save money. (Again, the irony. I see it.) I also spent a good unnecessary 3 hours at the ER getting my head checked out since I hit it on the dashboard.

As you know, this isn’t my first accident and I’m starting to suspect that maybe I’m a bad driver. I’m not jumping to any conclusions quite yet, but it is suspicious that I’ve crashed 3 out of the 4 cars I’ve owned. Bailey, you were a passenger in the wreck of ’04 and Bridget, you we on the other end of the line in the wreck of ’07 (which was pedestrian related. More on that another time, I’m having anxiety thinking about it right now). But I can’t put my finger on what I’m doing wrong. It’s my December resolution to figure it out. So far I have made a commitment to put the mascara down while driving. One step at a time.

The good news is that the Prius is not totaled. It didn’t suffer any engine or frame damage, it just needs a new door, headlight and bumper. So I guess it’s safe to say I’m a girl with Prius envy. As in I’m envious of you two driving your Pri’i while I’m in a Chevy courtesy of the Airport Enterprise.

I’d like to say I learned my lesson, but I just don’t think that’s an accurate statement if history is any judge. However, that also doesn’t make me any better than a man with an amputated leg due to a crippling drug addiction as he didn’t learn his lesson either.

Laughing at the adjectives that accurately describe both Prius and penis,
Bianca

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Snowmageddon

Greetings from Armageddon,

Yes, that’s right. The world (maybe just Utah?) will be ending sometime around 4:00pm this afternoon. Everyone is advised to leave work early (totally on board with this weather pattern), get home (DO NOT go to any grad school classes) and be prepared for the worst (oh, I’m preparing for the BEST!).

Bianca and Bailey! OMG! So much to say with so little time left. If the world does end, I just want you to know how much I love you two and how much you both mean to me. You’ve been amazing friends and are truly supportive. And finally, I need to confess this one thing so I can have a clear conscience if this is it: I’ve had lesbian dreams about both of you.

If the world does not end and this is all just a massively hyped storm: Forget I said anything.

The roomie and I decided we’d better prepare for this huge storm that might knock at all power, so we grocery shopped last night.

We bought:
Bread.
Peanut Butter.
Pickles.

I have a friend who is “preparing for the blizzard a lot like Y2K” with:
Booze
Food
Pitch forks
Playboys

When we got home we were told that we should have been buying things like batteries, flashlights, and canned food, but dudes, I have a High School Musical Flashlight. I’ll be fine.

In preparation for the storm we also made a cake with pink frosting. All are welcome to come wait out the storm at our place! Pickles for everyone! Plus – we might need the extra people for body heat if the power goes out indefinitely.

I’m leaving work and making one emergency stop at the Liquor Store (I can’t believe I saved the most important task for last). Who wants what?!

Hunkering down,
Bridget

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Seasons of Love (or lack thereof)

Greetings from my pea coat.

I am enjoying this rainy day. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still clinically depressed about the end of warm weather, but these clouds match my mood. I just want to snuggle up with Snowball and finish my book (my beach read, ironically). It would be better if it was a more tempestuous storm, but I’ll take it.

I got in an argument with QDW yesterday about the Seasons. All seasons have their pros and cons, and I’m generally a fan of the earth regardless of it’s proximity to the sun, but of all the seasons, Autumn is the least awesome. Here’s why… The activities are so limited. The weather is so unpredictable that you can never plan to do something outside, it’s main holiday requires binge eating, and most glaring of all, pools are closed and ski resorts aren’t open yet. It’s the season between the seasons.

Spring is ideal because of the anticipation for summer, and who doesn’t love a giant bunny who hides eggs? I love Winter for it’s warm and cozy good memories, and don’t even get me started on Summer. Summer = Perfection. But Fall? Meh. It’s kind of like the movie, The Blindside. I can’t figure out why people like it so much. I do however appreciate fall clothes. Any time I can wear leggings instead of jeans is alright with me. So I’m going to chalk up the leaves turning to just that. Leggings.

(I’d like to point out that the lack of activities I have available now that it’s fall has reduced my e-mail topics to talking about a lack of activities.)

Happy first day of twenty middle! How was your real birthday last night? I thoroughly enjoyed all of the birthday festivities throughout the last two weeks. Your birthdays are always fun.

Looking forward to girls night on Thursday (injected with sting of sarcasm). I lame-ize myself, but are we really going out on a week night? I really count on 8 hours of sleep a night. Can’t we just sit on your couch and watch NBC like we always do? Can we fake sick together or will they be hip to our jive? Maybe I’ll dibs designated driver. But then again, drinking might make the evening tolerable.

I’m a little cynical today as I’m sure you’ve gathered. I’m just not in the mood for sunshine and rainbows (since there is neither sunshine nor rainbows outside my window (literally and figuratively)). I hope you appreciate my lack of enthusiasm. I know I’m enjoying it.

Where’s my tail…

Bianca.

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