Tag Archives: Swimsuits

Spring Things

What a gorgeous day it is outside!
I am loving this first taste of spring. I have espadrilles on today! I’ve been slowly bringing out my sandals after many sweaty days in regular shoes. After a particulary sweaty day yesterday I decided it’s time for a pedicure and some flip flops (no time for the former so I’m just rockin’ the latter… gross).
In between Spring deadlines (including but not limited to an Albert Einstein collage for internal marketing, translating disclaimers for a new drug in Spanish (erroneously), and pretending like hours were spent on a magazine ad when really just the pictures were switched out) I have been trying to find the perfect swimsuit for the summer.

I remember in January thinking I’d be 20lbs skinnier by now… Oh Bianca. I was so naieve back then. I’m obviously going to be 20lbs lighter in the fall, not now. Anyway, I’ve lost about 5 lbs, but that was just a fluke last week after a seriously life-ruining flu. But I’ll take it, 5 lbs is 5 lbs. Thank you, new sketchy Indian resaurant!
Long story short, don’t shop Victoria’s Secret online. They don’t do returns, only exchanges. When buying swimsuits you’ve only seen on supermodels, there is a good chance you’re going to want to return them once you try them on. After a few rounds of buying and returning I’ve racked up quite a few gift cards over at Vickie’s. Now I’m forced to order approximately five swimsuit’s worth of merch. Not only do I not know how to assume this: 

Not my abs.

will look on my sexy hot bod; every last item on that website is back ordered until July. By then I will have inevitably gained back my 5 lbs of flu weight and then some due to mandatory outdoor drinking and eating.
Which reminds me, I did this yesterday! 

Happy Hour. 🙂

 Ahhhh how I love the Spring. 
In more relevant news, Happy April Fool’s Day! Two years ago today I got a call from my Dad telling me he bought me a salsa red Prius and that I owe him $$ for the car. I still wish he was kidding about that second part.
I got a text from him today that he’s moving to Utah to “shake up the Republicans and keep and eye on my daughter”. If only he knew that I’m one of those Republicans now… psh. April FOOLS!
Donkey for life,


Filed under Bianca