Reasons why we have been total slackers:
– Bizarrely cloudless summer = no time for inside activities. i.e. blogging.
– Toddlers and Tiaras marathon
– Rolling Blackouts
– Dancing on stage with Katy Perry
– Sleeping in is tiring.
– Balancing Margarita Monday and Tequila Tuesday (or was that Thursday?)
– DVR trumps Blog on hungover mornings. – TV plays itself, Blog does not write itself.
– Dream job hunting is very time consuming. Have yet to hear back from E! to be Seacrest’s co-anchor; or from Conde Nast to be it’s exotic island critic; or from Sauza to be it’s margarita taster… but am still waiting diligently by phone.
– Laziness and a general sense of writers block.
Update on Bianca’s life:
Had the opportunity to take a sh*tty job for sh*tty pay in hot-as-balls Arizona for a real sh*t eating jerk of a boss or take a hefty severance package. Turned down the incredible opportunity I was on the fence about to take the severance… yet still very much employed. Preston is making a 1-year plan while I’m learning different feet-dragging tactics. Divorced parents are both single for the first time in 10 years and considering another run at it. Traveling a lot to escape all of the above yet still very much enjoying the ride. Summer rules. Winter droools. Y’all are fools.
Update on Bridget’s life:
Summer break has been kicking ass by totally not kicking ass of any kind. I’ve done practically nothing. I mean, trips here and there, the whole wedding thing is planned and I’m almost finished with my third to last semester of grad school, but really, lots of sleeping. Naps have been my past time. I sleep in bed, by the pool, in the pool, on the lawn and definitely in front of the television. Biggest accomplishment: I finished some great (non school related) books and two seasons Dexter. Who’s winning now, Charlie Sheen? Oh. And I lost 8 (glorious) pounds (gaining them back as I type, even though I’m currently doing Bianca’s Magical Cleanse) and bought THE Wedding Dress.
Update on Bailey’s life:
No update because Bailey is still enjoying the most epic summer of all time that we’re all jealous of… Bailey… when you read this, send word, text, email or pigeon that you’re okay and still having an awesome time.
Readers: If you’re still out there. Sorry for sucking so hard at emailing. We promise to be better as summer gives way to fall. Forgive us?
The Girls with Prius Envy
Tag Archives: summer
Good morning, ladies!
I would like to start off by apologizing for my lack of communication this past month. I was out of town 3 out of the 4 weekends in April and finally have my routine back on track (perfect timing considering I’m going on another week-long vacation in 10 days). I haven’t even been home long enough to report any news! (Except that Bin Laden was killed… In case you hadn’t heard that yet.)
What I have noticed in the short time I’ve been home, however, is how this time of year always brings out the crazy in our friends. With swimsuit season around the corner we have girls on 800 calorie-per-day diets, no carb diets, even ‘detoxing body wraps’ all in an effort to look hot in a swimsuit. The sad part is that none of us are fat. Not even close. And screwing with the natrual process of eating like a normal person and digesting like a normal person has made every one of the DramaWhores a completely irrational psycho.
QDW was cheated on by her idiot boyfriend who also told her she was stupid. Well guess what, he’s bald and bi-polar and not even close to good enough for her. But because she is literally lacking the energy and calories needed to make a decision like egging his car and bashing him on the internet, she continues the rollercoaster ride that is her nightmare of a relationship. But hey, her arms look skinny and that’s all that matters.
The Asian is having a complete quarter-life crisis. She’s in love with a guy she used to date who broke her heart who now has a serious girlfriend. She can’t figure out why it’s not working. Her diet is of the self-loathing variety consisting of Weinerschnitzel corn dogs and ice cream. It’s a vicious cycle.
The Amazon is 6 feet tall and weighs 140 lbs. Her body is beautiful, but she thinks she’s fat. I’m pretty sure she suffers from that thing we learned about in 8th grade where she looks in the mirror and sees a fat person even though she is a ridiculously skinny person. She’s a blonde Kenyan.
Bailey, you are one of those rare people who have a healthy body image. I usually give the credit to the mom’s, but this time I’m going to give it to you because your mom and my mom were raised by the same woman and I have heard all three of them say the following: “Have you tried the cabbage soup diet?”, and “How’s your weight?”, and “You should go to the gym instead of watching Hoarders”.
I would say that I also fall under that healthy body image category but I would be lying. I’m not as crazy as the DramaWhores but I’ve tried my share of diets, detoxes and boot camp. I’d mention what I was up to right now but I’d rather save myself the effort of scanning my GNC recipt.
Bridget, you are a woman on a mission trying to get to “wedding dress weight”, and while I think you (and all other brides) are crazy, I understand. So I’m going to look away while you diet your way down the aisle.
The list of crazy goes on but if I told you all of it this would be a sad, sad novel. I want to shake our friends (us) sometimes and have them look in the reality mirror. They are all beautiful, intelligent and accomplished women who have everything going for them. What their butts look like in a string bikini has no bearing on their worth. And as fas as the single ones are concerned, if they are meeting guys who are only interested in their butts, they have bigger problems.
Anyway…In a month from today we’re headed to Vegas! I’m thinking I’ll try the no-carb, no-dairy, master cleanse cookie 200-cal/day HCG, fruit and veggie Kim Kardashian Sensa…
Bianca and Bailey,
Sorry it’s been so long without an email, I don’t feel too badly though, because I haven’t heard from your girlies either! Well, via email, I’ve seen lots of you in real life (imagine that) and we’ve spoken lots via all forms of iPhone communication.
So. I don’t know how to start on this because I’m not usually one for sappy lovey doveyness, but ladies, I’M ENGAGED! Algebra popped the question over Spring Break (yep, I love my job, I have a spring break and am getting dangerously near to a big summer break).
We’ve tentatively set a date for December 29th of this year which means I am currently under 8 months away from THE DAY. I’m doing my best to not become one of those girls where they get engaged and then the wedding planning consumes all forms of life and it’s all they talk about (but I realize I’m already failing). I’ve tried to set a few rules for myself.
1- Stop staring at my engagement ring when other people can see me. (I NEVER wear finger jewelry at all and this damn thing is pretty shiny. It’s a hazard while driving.)
2-Do NOT bring up wedding plans (unless there is a DIRE emergency and opinions are needed) unless someone else brings it up first.
3-Never say the word fiancé. Sorry girls, Algebra is still my boyfriend and he will be until he’s my husband. Fiancé sounds stupid coming out of my mouth (unless I’m in Vegas pretending to be French).
With under 8 months to go, it’s likely that I’ll be breaking my rule #2 (like I am right now) on a fairly consistent basis. Le sigh.
Wedding planning emergency #1: WHERE THE HELL DO I START? Any guidance anyone can give me in this region will be gratefully accepted. Bianca, thanks so much for signing up for all the wedding newsletters for me.
Since I am a self proclaimed nerd, the first thing I did was claim the URL bridgetandalgebra.com and start a wedding website (just for the basic information and so I don’t have to take any paper RSVP’s, I mean, I drive a Prius, my wedding will have as little impact on the environment as possible). Sure, I don’t have any information to put up on the website, but it exists and I’ve done something for the wedding and that’s all that matters to me. Any progress counts, right?
Note: While I’m engaged and even after the wedding I still plan on having girl’s night more than once a week and going out just like we do now. If I stop getting invited to the bar or themed house parties, I will give new meaning to bridezilla. Got it, betches?
Trying to dodge the sappy and refusing to even look at wedding dresses until I drop 10 pounds,
PS-When do I need to order one of those dresses by, anyway? Eph.
Twat is up, girls?! I hope your week is off to an awesome start! I know mine is! There is already talk of Friday Fiestas and this girl is s-t-o-k-e-d!
I swear the slightest sparkle of sunlight has everyone rejuvenated and excited for spring and summer. I mean, sure, it snowed yesterday, but beyond a few whiny Facebook posts, it hasn’t seemed to be too much of a problem! The snow is melting, my seeds are growing (yes, I planted flowers from SEEDS, how domestic of me, eh?) and everyone is in a super positive mood. I am loving it!
I know that the spike in vitamin D is part of the reason for everyone’s mood influx, but a mere increase in a silly little vitamin can’t be the only change, right? Right. Here’s my 8 degrees of why everyone is in a good mood (this is by no means a stretch):
1- When it is spring you’re usually not freezing your ass off when you’re outside.
2- So you go outside and your run around and play.
3- Since you’re spending so much more time running around and playing you get skinnier.
4-Now that you’re skinnier (and warm) you put on way cuter outfits that the drab shit you’ve been donning with your Uggs all winter.
5- When you look good, you feel good (thanks, Dion), and since you’re baring more skin in the sun, you get tanner.
6- Tanner=hotter (sorry, skin cancer society, it’s science!)
7-When you’re hotter more people want to hang out with you (sorry ugly people, again, it’s science.)
8-When you’re hanging out with hot and fun and wonderful people, what are you usually doing? THAT’S RIGHT! YOU ARE DRINKING A DELICIOUS AND COLORFUL DRINK AT SOME OUTDOOR LOCATION.
It all comes back to booze, my friends, and here are my top favorite SLC places to enjoy some spring and summer bevs. (No, I’m not teetering on alcoholism, friends. I’ve just held true to giving up the booze for lent and I’m kind starting to get the craving. Mmmm… Mimosas, margaritas and mojitos, OH MY!)
1-Gracies: Once a scary meat market in winter (complete is bejeweled man denim) turns into a super awesome patio par-tay during spring and summer. Drink of choice: Ask Sam for a ManWhore.
2-Spring Mobile Field: What may be one of the most poorly named ballparks in the US of A is a lovely place to spend spring afternoon and summer evenings. Drink of choice: Dur. Beer. Thirsty Thursday rocks my world. Note: If you get hit in the head with a fly ball you get free beer the rest of the season. Yes, I know from experience. No, I don’t want to talk about it.
3-Summer Concert Series: Wa-hoo! Back at the Gallivan Center this year. There’s nothing I love more than free concerts and free love in the summer. SLC hippies do their best to come out in full force for the concert series and I do my best to avoid the smell of their sometime sketchy dreds. Sure, I usually only make it to a few of the concerts before I feel like blowing my brains out from crowds, but hey, at least it’s an option, no? Drink of choice: Over priced white wine or whatever snuck in between my boobies.
4-Kickball: Yes, I’m one of “those” people that plays on an adult kickball league. What can I say? I love dressing up in a uniform (read: pink shirt, shortie shorts and knee socks) and it gives me a whole new crop of people to point and laugh at. Plus, if I were of the single variety, there’s a bunch of cute boys that play! A few of our girlies have found some fun little “distractions” on the kball field! Drink of choice: Anything mixed with Powerade. Gotta stay hydrated on the field, yo!
5- GREEN PIG’S ROOF TOP EXPANSION – Yes, you heard right, ladies. The Green Pig is opening a roof top bar. It’s going to be a thing of beauty! I can’t wait to sip on environmentally friendly drinks with you ladies there all summer. Drink of Choice: To be invented for us… It’s going to be green, it’s going to be strong and I think it should be called a Hybrid Holiday (or something of that nature).
Anywhoser. I know it’s supposed to be kind of shit-tay for the next couple days, but whatever, spring is springing and it going to be an awesome two seasons. My mouth is literally watering in anticipation!
Salut, cheers and stuff,
Happy Tuesday B&B,
How’s your second day of the work week? You’ll be happy to know that I survived Valentine’s day. Algebra bought me a new, beautiful watch and found my favorite wine that I didn’t think existed anymore. His gift was pictures of what I ordered off Amazon for him 5 minutes before since I was boycotting the holiday, but then accepted the fact that I must participate.
Anything eventful happen to you ladies last night or did you just go about your usual Valentine’s routine?
Anyway. I’ve decided to stop eating carbs (again). Not only will it include all the gluten I shouldn’t be eating anyway (a gluten intolerant diagnosis just doesn’t seem scary enough for me to avoid the stuff), but I will help me drop a few lbs. I’m feeling the summer swimsuit pressure already, ladies! And guess what? I couldn’t be happier about it. The sun is shining, the air is getting warm and minus that little snow storm we’ll certainly have the the end of the week… I’m ready to throw on my bikini (I am, my body; however, is not – thus the carb ban).
I’ve also subtracted pilates (scheduling constraints) and added yoga and kalari. Team! Have you heard of kalari? OMG. It’s AHHHHmazing. Officially, it’s Indian martial arts (I think). Unofficially, it’s superhero training/gymnastics for grown-ups. It’s probably the best thing I’ve ever done. I attended my first class last Thursday and I’m still sore. Plus, my cheerleading background actually came in handy (first time since trying to date studly seniors in high school) when I could do a hand stand AND a backbend.
So, if I’ve done the math right (I’ll check with Algebra later):
(Bridget – carbs) + sunshine – pilates + (yoga x kalari) = Super hot bod in time but preferably before summer!
Right? I’ll let you know how this goes (especially because I can’t remember a time in my life when I haven’t been actively trying to lose weight).
In totally awesome and important news, ALGEBRA’S BAND IS A CITY WEEKLY MUSIC AWARDS FINALIST! So awesome! There’s three bands, King Niko and two other bands that I’ve never heard of and the winner gets 2K and all the glory. Super neat-o. Bianca suggested we glam it up and head to the concert this Saturday and I couldn’t agree more. Bailey, you in? It’s at the Vertigo Room of The Complex (some new venue in downtown SLC) on Saturday night. Woot, woot!
Thinking skinny, carb deprived and not at all angry about it,
Sent from my iPad
As Jay Z would say…
Our names are HOV… I mean… Hi! We’re the girls from Prius Envy! We live in the incredibly beautiful and always entertaining Salt Lake City, Utah. It is our pleasure to give you our unsolicited opinion on whatever it is we’re thinking about at any particular moment.
We play, we travel, we drive Prius’ and occasionally tend to our careers.
While we’re working at our day jobs we squeeze in a daily correspondence via email and then it magically appears here on this site (we blame computer hackers, particularly of the PC variety). You may know every detail about what we’re doing, where we’re going and who we’re going to with, but when it comes to what makes us US, you might not know so much. So here’s a little about us…
You may know Bianca and Bridget, but this duo has turned into a trio and Bailey (formerly SLCinNYC) is the new third wheel. Fresh from New York, Bailey has just purchased a Pruis and little did she know the obligations that would come with the new whip!
I apologize for this e-mail which is a day and a half late. It’s not so much that I’m busy as I am catching up from taking a pseudo “personal day” yesterday. Contrary to popular belief, I was not at the doctors office or babysitting (in the employee handbook, babysitting is the first reason listed for accetable use of personal days), I was laying poolside, my friend.
I was, though, at the pool with my cousin who is in fact younger than me, which is technically babysitting. This is a gray area and I’m just going to call it good. My boss is being really nice today because I think she thinks I needed the personal day for something super personal. In reality, I just wanted to lay out at the pool on a freakishly hot late-September day.
I know what you’re going to say, “WTF pool were you at in late September?! The Vanderbilt pool closed almost a month ago, and usually we’re near snow conditions by this time of year!” But my grandma is 82, and if she thinks it’s still summer, it’s summer.
In other self-indulgent news, I bought an iPhone yesterday. It really is superior to my blackberry. I feel bad for Mac haters for not getting to experience it’s magic. I feel like I don’t even need a computer anymore because it does everything. It even turns my face in to the face I would have if I gained 300 lbs. So, yeah. I’ve been pretty preoccupied (understatement of the year) with that today. I watched Weeds on Netflix during lunch. I feel like I don’t deserve all of this amazing technology, but again, I’m going to call it good.
I’m going to fake cough a little and get some work done now, so you have a great day, girlfriend and I’ll see you on your couch tomorrow night.