Tag Archives: spring

Biancas of the Caribbean

Happy Holiday Weekend!

I am headed to the Caribbean tomorrow on a fabulous seven-day cruise with Preston and his family. My highly-organized overly-excited self has already planned out every hour of every day which makes me worry that Preston might actually throw me overboard. You could say that the two of us travel differently. It’s not a bad thing, in fact it might even be good for us to balance each other out, but if one of us was in charge of the entire vacation, blood would be shed. I’m just sayin’.

I like to be moving and to see different sights throughout the day while Preston wants to kick back, relax and enjoy the sunshine on a beach chair (and 4, 5 or 6 tequila’s). I can lay out with the best of them, but we are going to be on a floating city! There is a salsa dancing club, wine tasting, islands with exotic sea life… How can you chill in a beach chair when you know you are missing all of those awesome things?

Ironically, in life we are the other way around. I am the laid back no worries gal while Preston is anal retentive and ‘planny’ (I don’t know how else to describe it). Helping him pack his suitcase was like *insert frustratng situation* with Larry David.

I can empathize with his vacation style if I channel childhood Bianca. Papa Vanderstappen has always taken us on some pretty epic vacations, but his travel ADD is worse than mine by a million. I’ve never even seen him lay, sit, look at a beach chair. He’s the only man in the world who WILL see every sight from the guide books and then some. His adventures were awesome – cliff jumping, caves, boating, rock climbing, but it’s non stop. I remember being a kid and being so over reading about historical sites. Oh this is where Ernest Hemingway’s ashes were scattered? Who the f*ck is Ernest Hemingway, Dad? (I had a sassy mouth on me as a kid). It was the same sentiment I had for Animal Farm at the time, I just don’t understand this shit.

Now that I’m older and wiser and that whole apple & tree thing has proven true, I love the historical shit (and Ernest Hemingway (but definitely not Animal Farm)) but can see why not everybody does. I can see where Preston is coming from. Sometimes you just want to do what you want to do, and if that means drinking $15 daquiris while watching pre-recorded basketball games, I’m not going to interfere.

In a surprising twist, Papa Vanderstappen recommend I embrace the relaxing travel style of Preston and family since I have never experienced it; suggesting that I might actually enjoy relaxing poolside. While unlikely, it’s not impossible. I’ll keep you posted.

Regardless of how my vacation is spent, it’s going to be incredible and I can’t wait! You can’t go wrong with sunshine, beaches and margs.

Bailey, I wish you the best at the wedding from hell and Bridget, hold down the fort.

Still amazed the state of CA thinks 7th Graders will understand the connection between Animal Farm and pre-Stalin era WWII,
-Bianca

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Springtime in the City of Salt

Twat is up, girls?! I hope your week is off to an awesome start! I know mine is! There is already talk of Friday Fiestas and this girl is s-t-o-k-e-d!

I swear the slightest sparkle of sunlight has everyone rejuvenated and excited for spring and summer. I mean, sure, it snowed yesterday, but beyond a few whiny Facebook posts, it hasn’t seemed to be too much of a problem! The snow is melting, my seeds are growing (yes, I planted flowers from SEEDS, how domestic of me, eh?) and everyone is in a super positive mood. I am loving it!

I know that the spike in vitamin D is part of the reason for everyone’s mood influx, but a mere increase in a silly little vitamin can’t be the only change, right? Right. Here’s my 8 degrees of why everyone is in a good mood (this is by no means a stretch):
1- When it is spring you’re usually not freezing your ass off when you’re outside.
2- So you go outside and your run around and play.
3- Since you’re spending so much more time running around and playing you get skinnier.
4-Now that you’re skinnier (and warm) you put on way cuter outfits that the drab shit you’ve been donning with your Uggs all winter.
5- When you look good, you feel good (thanks, Dion), and since you’re baring more skin in the sun, you get tanner.
6- Tanner=hotter (sorry, skin cancer society, it’s science!)
7-When you’re hotter more people want to hang out with you (sorry ugly people, again, it’s science.)
8-When you’re hanging out with hot and fun and wonderful people, what are you usually doing? THAT’S RIGHT! YOU ARE DRINKING A DELICIOUS AND COLORFUL DRINK AT SOME OUTDOOR LOCATION.

It all comes back to booze, my friends, and here are my top favorite SLC places to enjoy some spring and summer bevs. (No, I’m not teetering on alcoholism, friends. I’ve just held true to giving up the booze for lent and I’m kind starting to get the craving. Mmmm… Mimosas, margaritas and mojitos, OH MY!)

1-Gracies: Once a scary meat market in winter (complete is bejeweled man denim) turns into a super awesome patio par-tay during spring and summer. Drink of choice: Ask Sam for a ManWhore.

2-Spring Mobile Field: What may be one of the most poorly named ballparks in the US of A is a lovely place to spend spring afternoon and summer evenings. Drink of choice: Dur. Beer. Thirsty Thursday rocks my world. Note: If you get hit in the head with a fly ball you get free beer the rest of the season. Yes, I know from experience. No, I don’t want to talk about it.

3-Summer Concert Series: Wa-hoo! Back at the Gallivan Center this year. There’s nothing I love more than free concerts and free love in the summer. SLC hippies do their best to come out in full force for the concert series and I do my best to avoid the smell of their sometime sketchy dreds. Sure, I usually only make it to a few of the concerts before I feel like blowing my brains out from crowds, but hey, at least it’s an option, no? Drink of choice: Over priced white wine or whatever snuck in between my boobies.

4-Kickball: Yes, I’m one of “those” people that plays on an adult kickball league. What can I say? I love dressing up in a uniform (read: pink shirt, shortie shorts and knee socks) and it gives me a whole new crop of people to point and laugh at. Plus, if I were of the single variety, there’s a bunch of cute boys that play! A few of our girlies have found some fun little “distractions” on the kball field! Drink of choice: Anything mixed with Powerade. Gotta stay hydrated on the field, yo!

5- GREEN PIG’S ROOF TOP EXPANSION – Yes, you heard right, ladies. The Green Pig is opening a roof top bar. It’s going to be a thing of beauty! I can’t wait to sip on environmentally friendly drinks with you ladies there all summer.  Drink of Choice: To be invented for us… It’s going to be green, it’s going to be strong and I think it should be called a Hybrid Holiday (or something of that nature).

Hybrid Holliday

Anywhoser. I know it’s supposed to be kind of shit-tay for the next couple days, but whatever, spring is springing and it going to be an awesome two seasons. My mouth is literally watering in anticipation!

Salut, cheers and stuff,
Bridget

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Spring Things

What a gorgeous day it is outside!
 
I am loving this first taste of spring. I have espadrilles on today! I’ve been slowly bringing out my sandals after many sweaty days in regular shoes. After a particulary sweaty day yesterday I decided it’s time for a pedicure and some flip flops (no time for the former so I’m just rockin’ the latter… gross).
 
In between Spring deadlines (including but not limited to an Albert Einstein collage for internal marketing, translating disclaimers for a new drug in Spanish (erroneously), and pretending like hours were spent on a magazine ad when really just the pictures were switched out) I have been trying to find the perfect swimsuit for the summer.

I remember in January thinking I’d be 20lbs skinnier by now… Oh Bianca. I was so naieve back then. I’m obviously going to be 20lbs lighter in the fall, not now. Anyway, I’ve lost about 5 lbs, but that was just a fluke last week after a seriously life-ruining flu. But I’ll take it, 5 lbs is 5 lbs. Thank you, new sketchy Indian resaurant!
 
Long story short, don’t shop Victoria’s Secret online. They don’t do returns, only exchanges. When buying swimsuits you’ve only seen on supermodels, there is a good chance you’re going to want to return them once you try them on. After a few rounds of buying and returning I’ve racked up quite a few gift cards over at Vickie’s. Now I’m forced to order approximately five swimsuit’s worth of merch. Not only do I not know how to assume this: 

Not my abs.

will look on my sexy hot bod; every last item on that website is back ordered until July. By then I will have inevitably gained back my 5 lbs of flu weight and then some due to mandatory outdoor drinking and eating.
 
Which reminds me, I did this yesterday! 

Happy Hour. 🙂

 Ahhhh how I love the Spring. 
 
In more relevant news, Happy April Fool’s Day! Two years ago today I got a call from my Dad telling me he bought me a salsa red Prius and that I owe him $$ for the car. I still wish he was kidding about that second part.
 
I got a text from him today that he’s moving to Utah to “shake up the Republicans and keep and eye on my daughter”. If only he knew that I’m one of those Republicans now… psh. April FOOLS!
 
Donkey for life,
Bianca.

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And then Jesus told me not to drink…

Oh hey fellow Prius Drivers! How was your morning commute in the f’n snow? Utah always does this. Sunny, nice, capri’s, flip flops and then BLAM-O more snow than in January and February combined. Luckily our vehicle of choice handles pretty well in the snow (especially when it’s not getting plowed into by snow removal vehicles, right, Bianca?).

I made it to work safely in the Prius, but since Algebra took the day off (to be on the radio – again – hard, hard life being a ‘rock star’), he drove me and I was super grateful. Not because the Prius can’t handle the snow, but because my anxiety can’t handle the snow. I had a midterm last night, the first one since sophomore year of college and ever since then, my nerves have been shot.

So. Weekend recap? I’d love to give you one, but I can’t remember much of anything from about 8:30pm on Friday to 8:30 am on Sunday, but here’s what I can remember:

3:00 pm Friday: Took a half day of work and met Algebra and his cousin Stephen (name idea?) at Piper Down for a little mid day drinky-poo (drink of choice, Jack on the rocks baby, started Friday off right).

5:30 pm Friday: Went on a quest with the roomie to find my new fave WHIPPED CREAM VODKA. Quest successful (third liquor store).

{Intermission to shower and get ready for the night}

7:00 pm Friday:  Doorbell starts ringing with all the surprise guests for Algebra’s big 2-9 celebration. Start drinking copious amounts from shot glasses and blue & green polka dot cups (they were the manliest I could find, okay?)

8:00 pm Friday: Surprise limo shows up (GIANT, who knew they made limo’s so big?), pile into limo with the gang (approximately 15 people and 30 bottles of booze).

8:02 pm Friday: More drinking, this time, from the bottle.

8:45 pm Friday: Bianca, Bailey and I start singing sorority songs (all the naughty ones) and taking pulls from various bottles.

9:00 pm Friday: Where are we? Did we make it to Wendover? Zzzzzzz…..

{Intermission for blackness}

4:00 am Saturday: Shower (very necessary after vomiting out of a limo window for upwards of 2 hours.

5:00 am Saturday:  Sleep.

12:30 pm Saturday: Wake for a waxing appointment.

1:30 pm Saturday: Back to sleep.

11:00 pm Saturday: Algebra wakes me up to see if I want to go to his show. YA RIGHT. Back to sleep.

8:00 am Sunday: Where did my weekend go and why does my freaking head still freaking hurt?

Yep. That about sums it up. So hopefully you gals can tell me how much fun you had in Wendover, my snooze in the limo while all the gambling was being had was pretty cozy, I’m not going to lie.

What will you do for beads today?

Sidenote: HAPPY MARDI GRAS!!! What are you girls giving up for lent? Algebra and I are giving up drinking booze. We’ve yet to decide if it’s all alcohol or just liquor (i.e. beer and wine might still be okay.) If you have any questions as to why we made that decision: see above.

 

Me no likey boozy,
Bridget

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Simple Math to a Beach Body

Happy Tuesday B&B,

How’s your second day of the work week? You’ll be happy to know that I survived Valentine’s day. Algebra bought me a new, beautiful watch and found my favorite wine that I didn’t think existed anymore. His gift was pictures of what I ordered off Amazon for him 5 minutes before since I was boycotting the holiday, but then accepted the fact that I must participate.

Anything eventful happen to you ladies last night or did you just go about your usual Valentine’s routine?

Anyway. I’ve decided to stop eating carbs (again). Not only will it include all the gluten I shouldn’t be eating anyway (a gluten intolerant diagnosis just doesn’t seem scary enough for me to avoid the stuff), but I will help me drop a few lbs. I’m feeling the summer swimsuit pressure already, ladies! And guess what? I couldn’t be happier about it. The sun is shining, the air is getting warm and minus that little snow storm we’ll certainly have the the end of the week… I’m ready to throw on my bikini (I am, my body; however, is not – thus the carb ban).

I’ve also subtracted pilates (scheduling constraints) and added yoga and kalari. Team! Have you heard of kalari? OMG. It’s AHHHHmazing. Officially, it’s Indian martial arts (I think). Unofficially, it’s superhero training/gymnastics for grown-ups. It’s probably the best thing I’ve ever done. I attended my first class last Thursday and I’m still sore. Plus, my cheerleading background actually came in handy (first time since trying to date studly seniors in high school) when I could do a hand stand AND a backbend.

So, if I’ve done the math right (I’ll check with Algebra later):
(Bridget – carbs) + sunshine – pilates + (yoga x kalari) = Super hot bod in time but preferably before summer!

I can't wait to look like this in a few weeks! No?

Right? I’ll let you know how this goes (especially because I can’t remember a time in my life when I haven’t been actively trying to lose weight).

In totally awesome and important news, ALGEBRA’S BAND IS A CITY WEEKLY MUSIC AWARDS FINALIST! So awesome! There’s three bands, King Niko and two other bands that I’ve never heard of and the winner gets 2K and all the glory. Super neat-o. Bianca suggested we glam it up and head to the concert this Saturday and I couldn’t agree more. Bailey, you in? It’s at the Vertigo Room of The Complex (some new venue in downtown SLC) on Saturday night. Woot, woot!

Thinking skinny, carb deprived and not at all angry about it,
Bridget

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