Tag Archives: SLC


Greetings from Armageddon,

Yes, that’s right. The world (maybe just Utah?) will be ending sometime around 4:00pm this afternoon. Everyone is advised to leave work early (totally on board with this weather pattern), get home (DO NOT go to any grad school classes) and be prepared for the worst (oh, I’m preparing for the BEST!).

Bianca and Bailey! OMG! So much to say with so little time left. If the world does end, I just want you to know how much I love you two and how much you both mean to me. You’ve been amazing friends and are truly supportive. And finally, I need to confess this one thing so I can have a clear conscience if this is it: I’ve had lesbian dreams about both of you.

If the world does not end and this is all just a massively hyped storm: Forget I said anything.

The roomie and I decided we’d better prepare for this huge storm that might knock at all power, so we grocery shopped last night.

We bought:
Peanut Butter.

I have a friend who is “preparing for the blizzard a lot like Y2K” with:
Pitch forks

When we got home we were told that we should have been buying things like batteries, flashlights, and canned food, but dudes, I have a High School Musical Flashlight. I’ll be fine.

In preparation for the storm we also made a cake with pink frosting. All are welcome to come wait out the storm at our place! Pickles for everyone! Plus – we might need the extra people for body heat if the power goes out indefinitely.

I’m leaving work and making one emergency stop at the Liquor Store (I can’t believe I saved the most important task for last). Who wants what?!

Hunkering down,


Filed under Bridget

Do you hear what I hear?… Yes, and it’s giving me a headache.

Bridget, New Year’s resolution talk already? Thanksgiving is barely approaching. Why does Christmas come earlier every year? I feel like everyone used to say it, but now I really realize it. A majority of stores have already decked the halls with Christmas decorations, music playing, the works. I mean the Today Show already has their Holiday Guide up, full of Christmas segments and more.

I understand it from the retail standpoint; if the holiday shopping season lasts longer there is a good chance people will buy more, but remember the feeling of after Thanksgiving and the rush of the Christmas decor? Hmph, I want to be a Scrooge until after Thanksgiving; however, I too have fallen into this black hole of Christmas in November. I, as a consumer, have been tricked. I already have hung up in my closet about 90% of my presents from my parents and Santa. My mom said I have to give it back on December 20th to wrap it, but am I going to be bummed when I already know everything I’m opening? I feel as you get older it’s not as big of a deal, but still. On the other hand, what’s the point in picking out jackets and clothes that I need right now and having it sit in my mom’s closet until December to open up – right? I need my new leather jacket from Nordstrom’s half yearly sale NOW.

Well anyway, I need some good meaningful yet thrifty (remember there’s no incoming money for this girl right now) gift ideas. One year it was letter mugs from Anthropologie, the past three years was easy peasy hitting up street vendors in New York – pashminas, jewelry, random Buddhas and other artifacts from Canal – so what is this year? I was thinking about printing pictures and framing them, um…that’s all I got so far.  Ideas for small, meaningful presents to give to my friends who I don’t see so often but still want to give a little token.

Ugh! Why does so much stress come with the holidays, no wonder people drink so much. You want to know what I’ll be drinking (Bianca, I’m making you try it and you will LOVE it) is a Warm Winter Margarita. Tequila is fabulous all year round and the highest sale of tequila is around the holiday’s so not be one with the trend.

Ingredients – Serves 4:
3 ½ cups apple juice
1 cinnamon stick
2 cups dried fruit of your choice
2 tbs granulated sugar
4 shot glasses silver tequila – Sauza is affordable and delish in this
Combine apple juice and cinnamon in a heavy pot. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, and simmer for 10 minutes. Remove cinnamon stick carefully. Add sugar, dried fruit, and tequila. Mix well. Serve warm.
Enjoy ladies and I promise you’ll LOVE it!

I’m thinking about booze and it’s 10am, but it’s GOTTA be 5 o’clock somewhere (and it is, in London, so there),


Filed under Bailey

Look hot in biker shorts and other incredibly important goals for 2011.

Goooooood morning, girlies!!

How’s your Tuesday going?! Mine ROCKS!! I’ve been up since 5:30, downed a whole carb-free ROCKSTAR and have already conferenced with two parents. Yup. It’s parent teacher conference time and my chemically induced energy is absolutely necessary for the next two days while I find out exactly why my students have the little quirks they do. But man-oh-man do I have some energy today! Yikes.

In preparation for parent teacher conferences (besides scaring the hell out of my students) we have been setting long and short term goals for ourselves. I made my kids come up with 10. And since I’m being a good sport and example, I decided I’d come up with 10, too.

Um… okay… 10 goals for the next year-ish… that can’t be that hard, can it? (It can.) Here’s what I came up with:

1: I will find and purchase the perfect piece of furniture to go behind my couch in the living room. (It’s harder than it sounds, trust.)

2: I will finish my $%@&$!! masters program (even if it kills me and my social life in the process).

3: I will start saving money (bwahahahahahahhaha!)

4: I will have more fun in 2011 than I did in 2010 (my hardest goal yet, 2010 has rocked, my friends) and will get a new stamp in my passport – preferably from India.

5: I will make more time to spend with my grandparents. (Love them, miss them, better take advantage of seeing them while I still can.)

6: I will make more of an effort to be gluten-free as recommended by my witch doctor. (Beer is just so tasty and the gluten-free beer tastes like licking a stamp.)

7: I will learn how to (really) ride a bike and compete in some sort of awesome race. (And look awesome in biker shorts. Which brings me to….)

8: I will get in awesome shape and feel comfortable strutting around in biker shorts. (And you better believe I will strut.)

9: I will print out pictures that are being held captive on my digital camera. (So many fun times – but where are they?!)

10: I will figure out what I want to be when I grow up (when this whole teaching thing gets too exhausting) that will still only require me to work 9 months of the year with 3 weeks off for Christmas.

WHEW! That was harder than I thought. 10 goals is A LOT! Are you guys the kind of people who always have a 10 year plan? What list of things do you really want to accomplish***? Or are you more the “fly by the seat of your panties” type girls? I used to be such a planner, but once I graduated college and got a job… what more is there? Obviously, A LOT!

Planning for future awesomeness,


***Bonus points if this involves breaking the law, spending time with your favorite person, Bridget, and/or inventing the best, calorie-free cocktail ever.


Filed under Bridget

Breaking News: Ben Roethlisberger replaced by well endowed silver fox.

Good morning girls!

Bailey, I’m sorry to hear that your little effort in finding a job has produced little results. The good news is, that means when you put in major effort, it will produce major results (it’s science). I know that you’ll find the perfect job that rewards procrastination and has unlimited vacation and a vending machine that serves vodka.

Well it’s that time of year again, ladies! Preston and I get to choose our new free pass! Here’s how it works… Once a year, we get to choose a “free-pass” or FP as I like to call it. (An FP is a celebrity we would be allowed to sleep with in the unlikely event we ever got the chance. It is not considered cheating.) Once you choose your FP, they are your FP for a whole year. You can NOT change your FP once it has been chosen.

For example: My free pass right now is Ben Roethlisberger. I chose him before he became a creepy raper, but I was locked in to my decision. Well we are approaching 12/1, my friends, and I am looking forward to my upgrade.

I know what you’re thinking… Brad Pitt, Josh Duhammel, Mickey Rourke, but you’re wrong. This is a strategic game. Preston is a sucker and chooses people like Marisa Miller (please) year after year. Don’t get me wrong, my boyfriend is a catch. A perfect 10 in my eyes. But in what universe is he going to meet, charm, and bed a Victoria’s Secret model?! Do you know how easy it would be for me to hook up with Ben Roethisberger? Choose a gas station in Pittsburgh. Done.

I’m pretty sure Preston has locked in Katy Perry this year (she’s married. Fail #1). But I commend him for choosing a brunette this year, a surprising change. But now it’s my turn. I’ve been on this older man kick lately, and I’m having a hard time getting away from it. For example, how hot is Liam Neeson? (Disclaimer: I may or may not be attracted to him because of an article I read about well-endowed hollywood men. He was #1, followed by Colin Farrell.) Also, Clooney. But read: duh. However, stronger than my love for the silver fox is my love for the hilarious. So my list as it reads today is as follows:

#1: Andy Samberg
#2: Jimmy Fallon
#3: Liam Neeson
#4: Jason Segel
#5: Gerard Butler

Any suggestions? Remember, the goal is to choose a sexy celeb, but also one that could possibly result in boot knocking. If I know you two like I think I do, Bridget will recommend a nerdy foreigner and Bailey will recommend a ridiculously good looking hipster.

I’d say something like, McDreamy, but that pun has already been taken. Thanks, Grey’s Anatomy,



Filed under Bianca, Uncategorized

SWF Seeks PR Job: work from bed, drinks anytime & unlimited vacation a must

Bianca and Bridget,

Greetings from my bed. It’s 2pm and I’m feeling semi-depressed about not having anything what-so-ever to accomplish today until 7pm when I go to my workout class. <Insert tear here.> In other words, I need to start seriously looking for a job. I thought it would feel great not working for at least 2 months after slaving away for 11-12 hours a day for the last 3 years… but I was wrong. I miss slave labor.

So ladies, it’s week eight of being unemployed and now it’s time for Bailey to become an employed publicist once again. So far the little effort I have put into this has produced little results. I know there are great PR jobs in this place and my first tactic was to stalk the companies that I would love to work for. However it’s amazing how rude and unprofessional people in the workforce can be. Case in point – someone telling me that “You’ve got the job!”…fast forward a month later, I am *67ing their cell phones in order to get an answer.  Lady, I don’t give a damn if I don’t have the job, just find the balls to tell me that in some fashion (any fashion), which I have given her multiple chances over email and phone and morris code and smoke signals…

Now that I am ready to get back in to the habit of working long hours and living for my weekends, how do I go about this search? Employed friends, I need help. I am constantly indeed.com-ing, looking on ksl.com, Craigslist, EVEN Facebook, but really. How do I find this dream job that I know exists? I want to work in an industry I’m passionate about (which is many many things), for a company I believe in (which is obvious, I’m not looking to go work for George Sr.), with nice people (who return phone calls) and in a fun environment (office happy hour preferred) – is that so much to ask?

I’d love to set up an interview and look forward to showing you how I can be an asset to your posse,


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Filed under Bailey, Uncategorized

You take the low road and I’ll take the… screw it. I’ll take the low road, too.

Hey Girls!

I hope your week is going well! So… should we talk about the awkward horned frog in the room? I was so amped for the TCU/Utah game – and then WOMP!- we got our asses handed to us. But let’s look at the bright side: at least there were a plethora of Jell-O shots and super cute pics of the three of us tailgating!

I think the game on Saturday is where my War on Negativity began.

Yes, you read right: War. On. Negativity. Basically, I’m sick of attitude from people that’s not really necessary. Why waste all that time and (negative) energy just to bring someone else down?

Example 1: Some IDIOT Sitting Behind Me at the Utes Game – This guy may have began the Boo-ing of our cute little quarterback, Jordan Wynn. Dude. TCU is obviously a way better team than we are, do you really think that boo-ing a 20 year old is going to change anything? Further more, do you think that our fate rested only on Jordan Wynn’s inability to complete a pass? I’m going to say no. Football is a team sport, grumpy Gus, and if you woke up Sunday morning and were still a Utah Fan (I’m assuming by his missing teeth he wasn’t an Alumni) you should be ashamed of yourself. And maybe, just MAYBE if the crowd wasn’t boo-ing Wynn, Coach Whit would have tried out Cain in the second half (But why would he side with you boo-ing idiots?!)

How I fought the negativity: Poorly. I’ll yelled at the IDIOT behind me until he moved (into his correct) seats. Oops.

Example 2: Co-Worker of Doom – I work in a pretty rough profession at a pretty rough school. I understand that not everyone’s day will be all sunshine and rainbows, but does that mean every day needs to be doom and gloom day? Survey says… NO. I feel really bad that this person has nothing going on in their life besides their job, but does that mean they have the right to make fun of me because I have other things going on besides work?

Actual Quotes from Co-Worker of Doom:

“Ha. You’re stressed about grad school? Maybe you should stay in for once this weekend.”  —  “You’re going out of town AGAIN this weekend? {Eye roll} I wish I had that kind of time.” — “You don’t know what to get your boyfriend for Christmas? Maybe you shouldn’t have a boyfriend.” —  To a co-worker with kids, “Oh, YOU took a day off because your kids are sick? Having kids is a personal choice.”

Seriously, I’m about at my wits end. I start off every day with a smile on my face (part of the War on Negativity) and it is quickly wiped off by this Mean Martha at work. I’m ready to switch grade levels for next year just so I don’t have to put up with it! (Note: The choices from the other grade levels aren’t that bright and shiny either…)

How I fought the negativity: A little better. I sent her an email asking why she was so down lately and if there was anything I could do to help the situation, etc. She didn’t respond (though I know she got it and has had ample time to respond). So then, I whined to another co-worker. Oops.

Urgh! I’m not doing very well, am I? I realize that so far every negative situation I’m faced with I quickly turn negative, too. Dammit! Hey. At least I’m trying, right?

 Trying not to stoop to new lows,



Filed under Bridget, Uncategorized

Horrible Plane Crashes (Dems and a Qantas A380).

Good morning, B&B!
I woke up to a news story about a Qantas plane reporting engine explosions. As if I needed anymore scenarios to feed my plane crash imagination. I guess I can take comfort in the fact that it landed safely, but I don’t know what I would do if I was on that plane. They reported that every single passenger remained calm. Am I the only person who probably (definitely) wouldn’t be able to remain calm in that situation?! I’m sorry, but if I saw fireballs shooting out of my plane engine and ripping through the wing, I’d climb over the seats headed for the emergency exit. I don’t care at what altitude we were flying. This is what the engine looked like:

 Like any good news gathering, curious citizen, I took to twitter to find out exactly what happened.
    @Nomisterup: Qantas just called, they can’t find their Airbus warranty. They’re urging people to look in their couch cushions. 
    @Alpenrocker: Vas man whol fur ein gefuhl entwickelt wenn man das durchmachen muss??
I guess I’m the only one taking this engine fireball seriously. Although I don’t know what @Alpenrocker said, maybe he was concerned. 
I’ve really taken a liking to Twitter this week. Reading some of the witty tweets about the election (I’m pretty sure 99% of Twitter users are Democrats) have had me enjoying reading tweets by trending topic. I’ve literally gotten all of my news this way for the past couple days. For instance, did you know Lil Wayne was released from jail today? I didn’t even know he was in jail.
      @Sevinlzking says, Maybe he’ll have a release party…
      @Clos3231: Who karez that lil weez was rilleased, that foos whack!
      @Leo_baybee: Lil Wayne does not care about black people
Do you feel smarter and more informed now? I know I do. I am just amazed that the whole world is connected by these little tiny puns every day. At any given moment you can read someone’s 140 character thought anywhere around the world! Twitter breaks news before the news even happens.

Thanks to a local journalist who tweets more than he breathes, Ben Winslow, I am abreast on all of Utah’s news every day. He has literally tweeted 27 times today, and it’s not even lunch time. Wait… 28.  Wow sorry ladies, I just got myself into a black hole of Twitter though – it just blows my mind.  So, ladies, in 140 characters or less, how’s your day?
I’m so fly (get it, it’s a pun on both the A380 and Lil’ Wayne).

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Filed under Bianca