Tag Archives: money

Broke as a joke – except it’s not funny.

Hi Girls,
 
I’m broke. I apologize for the lack of pleasantries but I’m just being honest. I don’t have any money. I’d like to blame it on Summer activities but you know I will say the same thing in the Fall – “Oh how my wallet suffers when the leaves change”…”I need boots so I can’t meet you for free TV watching on account of a lack of gas in my car”. 
 
I make a comfortable living appropriate for a twenty-middleian. Comfortable enough that I should be able to pay for rent, bills and a car and still have some room for savings and spending money. But it feels like I pay the first two and then I’m significantly out of funds. 
 
This could be (is) attributed to Wells Fargo and the monster it has created – myself. Have you heard of “direct deposit advance”? If you haven’t, pretend like you didn’t hear this because it will ruin your life, too.
 
As a checking account owner at WF you are entitled to an advance on your pay check. Up to $1000 a month. It’s like a credit card, but with impossibly high interest rates – I’m talking 20 – 30%. The difference between this and a credit card is that it is immediately taken out of your paycheck as it is deposited so you don’t have to worry about paying it off. It’s relatively worry free on the surface.

What Direct Deposit Advance Feels like

 Lets just say I have taken advantage of it. Instead of using it as a necessary bail out, it’s become my shopping fund. After doing the math of what this will cost me at the end of the year if I use it consistently each paycheck ($2,400) I’ve tried to limit my use of this horrible crutch. 

Reality

 
You might think I have been eating out less or cutting back on Whole Foods’ ridiculousness (why is it so expensive?!), but no. I’ve become a delusional entitled idiot.
 
Yesterday I got a strange looking piece of mail with pull tabs on each side. Instead of assuming it was an ad like a normal person would I assumed – no, knew it was a check. A big fat check for me from somebody who owed me money. Why would anybody just give me money? Irrelevant. It was a check for a million dollars because, duh. What else would it be? I am Princess Bianca and people just send me money because I am a good person and karmically I deserve this.
 
I’m not kidding, I seriously thought it was a check.
 
Imagine my disappointment when I saw it was a coupon for auto insurance. What the hell is wrong with me?! Obviously nobody is sending me any money. I’m not part of a law suit, I don’t have a mystery inheritance and I declined the Nigerian Prince on his promising investment opportunity.
 
If I’m banking on the fact that my financial problems will be resolved by random checks in the mail, I need help. Help me.
 
Other than financial ruin, I am absolutely loving the late Summer. I can’t wait to spend money with you two tonight biking and drinking about town.
 
Mo Money Mo Problems (psh… yeah right),
-Bianca

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Engaged or Enraged? Which are you this holiday season?

Bianca and Bridget,

I am going to start off this email by saying if you are going to get engaged or break-up with your significant others before the end of this month, I don’t think we can be friends. I don’t know what it is about 2010, but I didn’t know I had this many friends who I thought were even capable of getting married and/or breaking-up in general.

I mean, 2010 was the year of sorority friends all over to get married. Is it because we are now 25+? Must be because 7 girls got engaged this year. Luckily I think I only have to go to FOUR weddings next summer, all of them being out of state or the f-ing country. I can’t wait and am SO happy for these girls, but I just don’t understand how one is supposed to fund all this. Dress for the wedding, wedding present, bachelorette, flight, hotel, blah blah blah…I need a Xanax just thinking about it. I mean for real though, where the F was my memo that in my mid-20’s I would need a few grand to spend jetting off to these occasions? Don’t get me wrong, I’ll be great at the wedding and have the time of my life. I’m a conservative dancer, social drinker, can talk to anyone…just a little frazzled.  Hopefully I have this whole procedure down before you two take the leap, I honestly am going track each itinerary to make sure I find the best method. I will be a pro. Promise.

On the other hand, all the single ladies. It is rare you will find girls our age have a big single girl posse. Well ladies and gentleman, I feel one forming. Who would want to break-up right at Christmas? Well it seems like half the girls I hang out with. Is it like the itch to just be free? Maybe it’s just the reaction of their significant other not wanted to take the plunge. Either way, I’m not complaining I think it’s fun when there is a big girl posse to roll with, but it is also scary if comes along an eligible bachelor. Take cover…some of these girls are frisky.

Not only are my friends going through this cycle of either tying the knot or kicking their partner in the curb, but celebrities too. They are just like us! This week alone Ryan Reynolds/Scarlett Johanson & Zach Ephron/Vanessa Hudgens called it quits while Nicole Riche/Joel Madden (her dress was AMAZING) & Hulk Hogan/his random blonde slut of the month (their wedding got interrupted by a BEACH BRAWL?) got hitched! I have to say I am quite pleased with all the happenings – minus the Hulk I could honestly care less about him.

Anyway my unmarried but in a committed relationship but still can go out and have fun friends, that is that. In all honesty, if one more of my friends gets engaged and decides to have a wedding next year b/t Memorial Weekend and Labor Day I am going to have to become a hooker.

Off to David’s Bridal,
Bailey

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