Tag Archives: Katy Perry

Prius Envy Returns (Sorry for being Slack-Asses)

Reasons why we have been total slackers:
– Bizarrely cloudless summer = no time for inside activities. i.e. blogging.
– Toddlers and Tiaras marathon
– Rolling Blackouts
– Dancing on stage with Katy Perry
– Sleeping in is tiring.
– Balancing Margarita Monday and Tequila Tuesday (or was that Thursday?)
– DVR trumps Blog on hungover mornings. – TV plays itself, Blog does not write itself.
– Dream job hunting is very time consuming. Have yet to hear back from E! to be Seacrest’s co-anchor; or from Conde Nast to be it’s exotic island critic; or from Sauza to be it’s margarita taster… but am still waiting diligently by phone.
– Laziness and a general sense of writers block.
Update on Bianca’s life:
Had the opportunity to take a sh*tty job for sh*tty pay in hot-as-balls Arizona for a real sh*t eating jerk of a boss or take a hefty severance package. Turned down the incredible opportunity I was on the fence about to take the severance… yet still very much employed. Preston is making a 1-year plan while I’m learning different feet-dragging tactics. Divorced parents are both single for the first time in 10 years and considering another run at it. Traveling a lot to escape all of the above yet still very much enjoying the ride. Summer rules. Winter droools. Y’all are fools.
Update on Bridget’s life:
Summer break has been kicking ass by totally not kicking ass of any kind. I’ve done practically nothing. I mean, trips here and there, the whole wedding thing is planned and I’m almost finished with my third to last semester of grad school, but really, lots of sleeping. Naps have been my past time. I sleep in bed, by the pool, in the pool, on the lawn and definitely in front of the television. Biggest accomplishment: I finished some great (non school related) books and two seasons Dexter. Who’s winning now, Charlie Sheen? Oh. And I lost 8 (glorious) pounds (gaining them back as I type, even though I’m currently doing Bianca’s Magical Cleanse) and bought THE Wedding Dress.

Zzzzzz.....

Update on Bailey’s life:
No update because Bailey is still enjoying the most epic summer of all time that we’re all jealous of… Bailey… when you read this, send word, text, email or pigeon that you’re okay and still having an awesome time.
Readers: If you’re still out there. Sorry for sucking so hard at emailing. We promise to be better as summer gives way to fall. Forgive us?
Much-o Love-o,
The Girls with Prius Envy

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And before you know it…

Bianca! Bailey!-

How are my top two favorite people on this earth (not counting Barack Obama, Katy Perry and Eric Bana) doing? I miss you guys so much! Truly, I’ve forgotten what you two look like. It’s been THAT long. I hope your holiday shenanigans were absolutely incredible and haven’t left you with too many holiday pounds that you’ll have to burn off in the new year (I’m up 4, but who’s counting – oh yeah – ME).

Yesterday was my first day back to work after the (much needed) long winter break. Believe it or not, I was actually really excited to come back to work and see my students. It’s hard not to get attached to the little buggers. I mean, during the school year I see them more than their parents do!

In any event, we’ve been doing a lot of fun, new technology based activites as part of my professional resolution to use technology as much as possible. My kids are social networking, BLOGGING and practicing flashcards online. Woot woot! With all the excitement and new activities, the kids have been extremely well behaved and I haven’t been hating my job! (I know it’s only day 2 back, but whatever.) With all their great behavior and bright and shiny smiles I know
you’ll be just as baffled as I am with what I overheard in the lunch line. Here’s the scoop:

I’m walking my students down to get their delicious(?) and nutritious(?) school lunch. Normally I just drop them off at the end of the hall and they go on their merry way to the cafeteria, but I had some students that needed to stay in recess (for being bad) so I had to hand deliver a note to the behavior gal in the lunch room. Just as I’m walking in behind a student I hear, “Ya! Ya! And before you know it they’re sucking your dick for smarties.”

I’m serious. This came out of a fourth grader. A 10 year old. Probably the smallest, teeniest one that you could possibly confuse with a second grader.

[Pausing so you can pick up your jaw and wrap your mind around that one.]

Honestly. I didn’t know what to do. Seriously, what do you say to that?! How do you punish that? How do you explain why that is inappropriate to a TEN YEAR OLD?!  I just passed him off to the behavior lady and told her he said something really inappropriate because I didn’t know what else to do.

I have two reactions:

1) WTF!?!?!?!?! How did he learn that? Does he actually know what that means? Where did he hear it? Why did he choose smarties? Are there really elementary school girls doing that? And for smarties?

2) Pretty impressed that this child has two different vocabularies. One that he uses in my classroom and one that he uses everywhere else. I mean, that’s a pretty good skill for a 10 year old. I know have two vocabularies – one for teaching and one for everything else, but I’m twenty middle. I think it’s pretty impressive that he’s able to filter himself so well that I would never know he has such a mouth on him.

Figuring out how to tell his (Spanish speaking) mother,
Bridget

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Reason 2,976 to stay out of Provo

Bailey and Bianca,

What is up my homies? I’m still in shock we “survived” another weekend in Vegas (survived is in quotations because my survival is still up for debate…). I have a pretty empty classroom today as my good students are being rewarded by going on a field trip and I’m being punished by having to deal with my naughties. It’s cool, though, we have an agreement today:  I’m going to play on my iPad and ignore them just as long as they work on their Vocabulary PowerPoint and ignore me. So far, so good.

So, I was watching the NEWS last night before bed when this video came on:

One, I’m horrified that this is newsworthy (it’s not news that Provo Girls are marriage hungry, return missionary lovin’, crazy mormos – we all know this). And two, how dead on is this video? I did a little research and found out that they didn’t even need to hire actors or actresses. Turns out, they just went to BYU campus and filmed much like a reality TV show. This is a reality music video.

Girls hanging out in wedding dresses all over campus? Check. Return missionaries with rings ready (without girlfriends)? Yup. Crazy wanna be baby hungry brides chasing bachelors down the street? Happens every day.

This music video should serve as a warning to all life forms out there – STAY OUT OF UTAH COUNTY! You risk baptism, alcohol deprivation and {gasp!} marriage.

Can I move yet?

Somewhere I hear Katy Perry screaming,
Bridget

PS: In all my iPad-ing today I’ve been able to get a lot of online shopping done-zo. I even ordered those sweet ass candy cane shot glass those sassy Cocktails at Tiffany’s girls were talking about! WIN!

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