Tag Archives: Grad School

A Xanax, a pep talk and finding my big girl panties…

Bailey,

Are you alive?

I thought you should know that yesterday I had a nervous break down of quite epic proportions. You see, it was my last day of finals and my professors graciously made everything due on the same day. At the beginning of the semester, everything seemed completely manageable… three projects? No problem! Complete web design? Bring. It. On. Research paper? In my sleep. You want a presentation? I’ll show you a presentation.

And then came the procrastination (as it always does) and I did nothing for the entire semester and found myself with 48 hours to finish everything to meet my five o’clock deadline (presentation and final) and midnight deadline (assignments and papers). I took most of Monday dicking around on facebook, re-starting this blog and doing *one* assignment. Whatever. I still had Tuesday and everything would be fine.

Note: For my personal use, I choose to use a mac (the computer of the gods). For work, I’m forced to use a PC (the computer of my dad who used  “Steve Jobs is arrogant.” as his reasoning for not getting a mac, but that’s another story).

Anywho. I had to do a project in Captivate and it just so happens my PC has that software and my Mac does not.

Note: I could throw my mac out of a window into a pool and I wouldn’t lose a damn thing. If I look at my PC the wrong way, it shuts down.

I finished my one project of the day (which only took about four hours of total work time) and decided it was time to give my eyes a break from the computer and watch Conan. Just when I settled in to a comfy little monologue I hear the sound of my PC laptop CLOSING. WHAT?! THE?! #$%^?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Algebra closed my laptop (something about saving energy?!) and thereby erased all the work I had done. Of course then my stress and PMS kicked in and we got into a fight of epic proportions because I was being crazy and loud and mean (you know those fights where you’re right, he’s wrong, the relationship is fa sho over and hell no we’re not going to sleep because we’re going to stay up and yell).

This is pretty much what the breakdown looked like if I were Paris Hilton. Or, this is what Paris looks like when she attempts using a computer. You decide.

Tuesday rolled around, we were still pissed at each other, he went to work and I sat and cried in front of my computer screen. I outsourced part of my homework assignment to Bianca and told her about my break down. I told her I needed help, I couldn’t breathe, the world was crumbling and without an intervention I might “get back into bed and never graduate.”

Here is Bianca’s pep talk:

Ok. Come off the ledge, my friend. The beauty of a committed relationship is that you can be crazy and/or mean and are automatically forgiven. This time tomorrow you will have forgotten how stressed out you were! If he doesn’t know that you get irrationally angry when under deadline and pmsing, well then he just hasn’t been paying attention and that’s his fault. 😉 I’m sure he does his annoying, irrational shit too. It’s a part of life.
Like the obese woman down the hall from me just said about her new enema weight loss diet that is making her irritable (bowel joke), This too shall pass (also a bowel joke). You will finish all of your work, pass your classes with flying colors, and Algebra is going to love you forever. No matter how annoyed with him you may get.
And as Papa Vanderstappen always says, these are quality problems. You are stressed about grad school, but you are lucky to have the opportunity for higher education. You are stressed about Algebra, but lucky to have somebody to fight with. So voila! Off. Ledge.

And just like that, I put on mascara, a sun dress and my big girl panties and marched out the door to give my final presentation (with only minor eye puffiness from all the crying). The pep talk was just what I needed and Bianca’s part of my homework assignment turned out great, too.

Or perhaps it was the Xanax I took 30 minutes prior… either way, it worked.

Hugs, kisses and date night,
Bridget (and Algebra Forever)

Bianca,
I really couldn’t have survived yesterday without you and your pep talk (bowel jokes included). You saved my ass (bowel joke?). I really appreciate it.
Bridget

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Will. Strangle. Cupid.

Bailey and Bianca,

How are my two favorite people to email in the whole world? Sorry I’ve been MIA all day. From having my principals and parents in my room to my most ADHD student forgetting to take his meds, it has proved to be an absolutely crazy day (and from what I hear from you two, you’ve had crazy days, too. Maybe it’s something in the UBBER COLD air).

First of all:
Bailey – congrats again on your new job! I’ve recently spoken with your boss (being that she’s my favorite aunt) and she can’t stop raving about you. I still can’t believe you didn’t tell me about your interview ahead of time. 🙂
Bianca – thank you for our sappy/silly text conversation. It made my Sunday.

Moving on, how’s your Tuesday and first day of February going, gals? It may be freaking freezing (so cold my student’s haven’t been allowed out to recess), but it’s clear outside and I can see the sun AND the mountains! Ah-mazing!

Being that it’s February, Valentine’s Day is all my students can think about! It’s two weeks away and they’re already hyper because of all the chocolate they will consume and pokemon cards they will receive. And now – it’s all I can think about. What should I get Algebra? What is he going to get me? Where are we going to celebrate? When are we going to celebrate? BLAH!

Do you think Algebra will mind if we just skip Valentine’s this year? (My intuition thinks he’ll be relieved and super stoked on the idea.) I’m just too stressed out to even think about it, will have to celebrate with twenty-four students and at the end of the day – I DO NO CARE. I don’t care if he gets me roses, I don’t care if we exchange sappy cards and I really don’t care if we even go out to dinner that night. Our relationship is fine, thank you very much and I don’t need some sappy, mid-month holiday to spice anything up.

Did I mention Valentine’s is on a Monday this year? A Monday. What the hell am I supposed to do with that?! (Nothing is the correct answer here.)

Nope, not even you, Algebra.

Gals, I’m so stressed out I don’t know what to do. I feel like I haven’t been able to relax since spring semester started. I constantly have a minimum of five things on my mind, am on the verge of an anxiety attack and then forget what the hell I was worried about in the first place (I was glad to hear you two experience the same phenomenon). I think it’s stress amnesia – you stress out so much your brain blows a fuse and forces you to forget whatever it was you were worrying so much about. The roomie and I had a talk last night and I think my stress level is kind of turning me in to a hateful bitch in survival mode. Oops. Sorry if I’ve been evil lately. I’ll be back to normal when I graduate in May 2012.

This whole new level of stress that I’m functioning on is “forcing” me into taking a mental health day on Thursday (thanks for the idea, Bianca). I think I’m going to book a hotel room up in Park City and surprise Algebra with it as a preemptive Valentine’s Day strike. But – I’m having a hard time finding a pet friendly (not leaving Weiner with a “stranger” just quite yet) hotel that would be worth stay at. Any recommendations?

I guess I better get back to work diverting my students attention from Valentine’s Day for the next two weeks.

Cupid, who?
Bridget

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Wanting kids, not students… they’re totally different.

Dearest Bailey and Bianca,

Greetings from a mess in my classroom. My students got new computers last week and as a “team building” experience I had them pack up the old ones, unbox the new ones and setup their new work stations (read: eye still twitching). Turns out 10-year-olds + new expensive computer equipment = stressed the eff out. On top of that the semester just started and I ever so brilliantly (NOT) decided this would be the perfect time to re-organize my classroom and move my teacher’s desk.

I can’t find anything. I had to be observed today on my student’s “organizational skills.” HA! Luckily for me, they actually picked students that had it together because at the moment, their teacher did not!

So ever since Algebra and I got our little puppy (still sucking my time, energy and sleep even after 3 weeks) I can’t help thinking about if we had an actual child (instead of the dog variety). I mean, Algebra is nearing 30, we both have awesome (?) careers as teachers that provide ample time off (I did the math, I work less that half the 365 days in a year) and we’re handling the dog child so well.

I mean, we have the dog routine down. Why couldn’t we handle a real baby? (Yes, I’m ignoring the hours of 8 to 3 when little Wiener is in his kennel, but whatever.)

In case you’re wondering if I am ignoring some vital steps in the “normal” process by which relationships happen (dating, ENGAGEMENT, MARRIAGE, then children) you’re exactly right. I’m ignoring it. I don’t know that I want that whole marriage thing right now in my life. So, babies are the next step in my mind.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but really, having a baby is starting to sound logical. I’m not sure if I’ve just talked my self into it or if my biological clock is coercing me into feeling this way – but dude, I’m totally serious. I’m wondering if you two need to set up some kind of “friendtervention” for me or something.

Don’t worry too much – I have a semi-permanent form of birth control firmly in place until January 2012 and I’m not completely (baby) crazy – I still want to finish grad school first. Just saying. It’s all I can think about (Hey! Maybe that’s what is causing my twitching eye and not my students. Maybe.)

Also, Bianca, it doesn’t help that I heard YOU (formerly scared sh*tless of the idea of having kids) say, “I could date someone who didn’t want to get married, but I definitely couldn’t date someone who didn’t want kids.”

Wondering if my delusions are caused from puppy sleep torture,
Bridget

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Snowmageddon

Greetings from Armageddon,

Yes, that’s right. The world (maybe just Utah?) will be ending sometime around 4:00pm this afternoon. Everyone is advised to leave work early (totally on board with this weather pattern), get home (DO NOT go to any grad school classes) and be prepared for the worst (oh, I’m preparing for the BEST!).

Bianca and Bailey! OMG! So much to say with so little time left. If the world does end, I just want you to know how much I love you two and how much you both mean to me. You’ve been amazing friends and are truly supportive. And finally, I need to confess this one thing so I can have a clear conscience if this is it: I’ve had lesbian dreams about both of you.

If the world does not end and this is all just a massively hyped storm: Forget I said anything.

The roomie and I decided we’d better prepare for this huge storm that might knock at all power, so we grocery shopped last night.

We bought:
Bread.
Peanut Butter.
Pickles.

I have a friend who is “preparing for the blizzard a lot like Y2K” with:
Booze
Food
Pitch forks
Playboys

When we got home we were told that we should have been buying things like batteries, flashlights, and canned food, but dudes, I have a High School Musical Flashlight. I’ll be fine.

In preparation for the storm we also made a cake with pink frosting. All are welcome to come wait out the storm at our place! Pickles for everyone! Plus – we might need the extra people for body heat if the power goes out indefinitely.

I’m leaving work and making one emergency stop at the Liquor Store (I can’t believe I saved the most important task for last). Who wants what?!

Hunkering down,
Bridget

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