Category Archives: Bridget

I got an update for ya…

-I got married.

Algebra and I went through with it! We tied the knot in December 2011. It was perfect. All of Algebra’s friends and fam were in from Chicago and all the DramaWhores were there and on best behavior. After the nuptials, toasts and dancing we all went to the bar where Algebra and I met, conveniently located across the street from the venue. I went in my wedding dress, everyone drank too much and my mom was kicked out of the bar.

I told you it was perfect.

-I got pregnant.

Algebra and I decided that we’d be ready for a new addition to our family – and not another dog! My doc told me it could take a year for a healthy couple to get knocked up and that there’s only ONE day a month you can actually conceive (Did you know that?).

We decided to start trying earlier than anticipated since it might take awhile.

Two weeks later…

I think that’s all the details you’d like.

-I got my Masters.

Finally. Finished.

It was long and boring and I had to make many websites using HTML coding. I can’t talk about it more than that.

-I got a new job.

I had to give up teaching my amazing fourth graders to teach teachers how to use technology in their classrooms. Now, I spend my days surrounded by iDevices and troubleshooting. Playing on my iPhone is encouraged. It’s amazing (especially right now as I’m on maternity leave).

-I got (had?) a baby. 

He’s perfect. Labor and delivery were terrible. Terrible. But that’s another story for another blog.

The little nugget’s name is Mayor Ted as he now runs my entire world. Being a mom is different than I expected, harder, but I do love it and I’m learning so much.

Xo,

Mama

Shit, I mean Bridget

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I trust you.

Sorry for another video post sans explanation of disappearance and reappearance… but this is pretty awesome.

Bianca, pee *before* you watch this clip.

For the record, I totally trust that you ladies would drop me for similar YouTube fame.

Taking a self proclaimed snow day even though I’m still on maternity leave,

Bridget

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I <3 VP Biden

Bianca and Bailey,

Whoa! Where have you ladies been?! What? I’ve been MIA, too? Weird. It seems like just yesterday it was my 26th birthday and now… I’m an elderly 27, married with my very own spawn. I guess an update is in order. Later, when I have time.

Anyway…

Is it totally wrong that I think this is awesomely hilarious and not offensive at all? Maybe the Vip and Brent Musburger (the ESPN dude who was “admiring” the QB’s gf during the Notre Dame/Alabama game) need to meet up and be BFF’s!

Xo, Bridget

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Twenty Middle Plus One

Oh hey there Bianca and Bailey!

How are my two favorite partners in crime? Our lack of blogging seriously disturbs me and has truly worried out gal (pen) pals at Cocktails at Tiffany’s (sorry ladies, we’re trying, I promise!). They even played virtual Marco Polo to find us. But like the master himself, Waldo, we’re still kind of lost (in the blogging world, career path place and on boot buying blvd).

It was great hanging out with you ladies on Saturday night. I love our impromptu pub crawls. They’re always just the perfect length (since we set the rules) and it was the perfect way to celebrate our good friend’s twenty middle plus one birthday. (Bianca-thanks for sharing your feather earrings with Algebra, er, Bear Paw, that was totally necessary.)

{Picture me floating through a worm hole from right now to a year ago from now}

Aw, the good ol days. Last year. All we could email about was how afraid we were to turn twenty middle. Le sigh. Your twenty middle plus one birthday has come and gone (unblogged about, sad. I heard there was a no pants party?) which means it’s my turn. Whatev. I feel like it’s not even a big deal. There’s so much going on that I couldn’t tell you what day of the week my birthday is. I think it’s a Tuesday? Wednesday? Anyway. We’re heading to Mile High with QDW to celebrate like we did for my Twenty Middle Minus One birthday and I feel like it will be a great little girl’s weekend to bring in the fall (and craziness that will ensue).

Craziness Ahead:
-Football season continues (Pac 12 what? Pass me a 12 pack, I’ll be tailgating)
-Algebra’s band plays The Big Ass Show (Seriously, that’s what it’s really called)
-Halloween (Costume ideas, anyone?)
-Thanksgiving (Bridget in Denver. Bailey in ?. Bianca in ?)
-Fall Semester Wraps Up (Bridget’s next to last, prepare to call her Master Bridget or Master Bates, whichever)
-Bianca finishes the book Bridget gave her and decides on a career path which takes her abroad to Bangladesh and she narrowly misses Bridget’s wedding (at which point Bridget regrets giving her the book in the first place)
-Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza/Ramadan(?)
-Bridget’s Wedding
-New Years
-2012
-World Ends.

Seems like a lot of craziness, but since the list (not me) brought up the wedding, I can talk about it. It’s three months away. Seriously. Look at a calendar. Three months (ok, three months and two days, but whoa). How did that sneak up on us? Let me put it in perspective for you: Approximately three months ago it was the fourth of July.

{Pause for everyone to regain consciousness}

I thought I had everything pretty “planned and together.” But now, I’m thinking not so much. Even worse, I don’t know the things that I still haven’t done. Sh!t.

Gotta go.

Hitting theknot.com so they can tell me how behind I am,
Bridget

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Big Bang or Big Man?

Hey girls,

I email you from a day long 8-4 training. Thank goodness I brought my “off task tools.” Read: iPad, iPhone, iAnything.

Now, I promise not get too deep, but I find myself questioning the existence of a “higher power” a lot lately. I’ve always considered myself an “optimistic agnostic.” Meaning, I’d love it if I found a religion I could believe in, would welcome the existence of a God, but am pretty skeptical.

Let me start out giving you a teeny bit of background information. I grew up going to church and going to a Catholic school. We went to church *most* Sundays until I started comparing myself to Jesus at which point my parents knew I wasn’t getting the message and we stopped. This happened probably around the same time in the bible where Jesus skips from childhood to adulthood (there I go comparing again…).

Anyway, I’ve never been super religious and since about the time I got my driver’s license was very skeptical of all religions.

A few weeks ago Algebra and I watched Curiosity on the Discovery Channel. It was Stephen Hawking explaining why there is no creator (before the big bang, there wasn’t time, there wasn’t anything, so there can’t be a God). It kind of made sense to me, but this is where I always get stuck on my agnostic-ness. How can something come from nothing? If there wasn’t a universe before the Big Bang… what/who created the big bang? Maybe my brain is just not built to understand…

The next thing that has spurred my recent conundrum is karma. I really believe in karma. You get what you give. If you’re a jerk to someone, someone will undoubtedly be a jerk to you (probably when you least need any jerkiness in your life). You hit someone’s car and run, something bad will happen to your car. How does karma exist if there is no higher power? Positive/negative energy just knows where to go? I think not.

And more! What about coincidence?! How does just the right thing/person land in your lap just when you need it most?

I don’t know. Do you good catholics have any advice for me? Algebra is catholic, too, and I’m wondering if I should stop trying to brainwash him and maybe just go with his quasi-religiousness.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to become some crazy religious freak (I don’t know that I can ever except the bible to be the word of God or a lot of other stuff that I’m not going to say at risk of being stoned), but I’d like to know – what is the middle ground? How am I supposed to raise my future children? Am I going to hell for writing this?

Peace be with you,
Bridget

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A Xanax, a pep talk and finding my big girl panties…

Bailey,

Are you alive?

I thought you should know that yesterday I had a nervous break down of quite epic proportions. You see, it was my last day of finals and my professors graciously made everything due on the same day. At the beginning of the semester, everything seemed completely manageable… three projects? No problem! Complete web design? Bring. It. On. Research paper? In my sleep. You want a presentation? I’ll show you a presentation.

And then came the procrastination (as it always does) and I did nothing for the entire semester and found myself with 48 hours to finish everything to meet my five o’clock deadline (presentation and final) and midnight deadline (assignments and papers). I took most of Monday dicking around on facebook, re-starting this blog and doing *one* assignment. Whatever. I still had Tuesday and everything would be fine.

Note: For my personal use, I choose to use a mac (the computer of the gods). For work, I’m forced to use a PC (the computer of my dad who used  “Steve Jobs is arrogant.” as his reasoning for not getting a mac, but that’s another story).

Anywho. I had to do a project in Captivate and it just so happens my PC has that software and my Mac does not.

Note: I could throw my mac out of a window into a pool and I wouldn’t lose a damn thing. If I look at my PC the wrong way, it shuts down.

I finished my one project of the day (which only took about four hours of total work time) and decided it was time to give my eyes a break from the computer and watch Conan. Just when I settled in to a comfy little monologue I hear the sound of my PC laptop CLOSING. WHAT?! THE?! #$%^?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Algebra closed my laptop (something about saving energy?!) and thereby erased all the work I had done. Of course then my stress and PMS kicked in and we got into a fight of epic proportions because I was being crazy and loud and mean (you know those fights where you’re right, he’s wrong, the relationship is fa sho over and hell no we’re not going to sleep because we’re going to stay up and yell).

This is pretty much what the breakdown looked like if I were Paris Hilton. Or, this is what Paris looks like when she attempts using a computer. You decide.

Tuesday rolled around, we were still pissed at each other, he went to work and I sat and cried in front of my computer screen. I outsourced part of my homework assignment to Bianca and told her about my break down. I told her I needed help, I couldn’t breathe, the world was crumbling and without an intervention I might “get back into bed and never graduate.”

Here is Bianca’s pep talk:

Ok. Come off the ledge, my friend. The beauty of a committed relationship is that you can be crazy and/or mean and are automatically forgiven. This time tomorrow you will have forgotten how stressed out you were! If he doesn’t know that you get irrationally angry when under deadline and pmsing, well then he just hasn’t been paying attention and that’s his fault. 😉 I’m sure he does his annoying, irrational shit too. It’s a part of life.
Like the obese woman down the hall from me just said about her new enema weight loss diet that is making her irritable (bowel joke), This too shall pass (also a bowel joke). You will finish all of your work, pass your classes with flying colors, and Algebra is going to love you forever. No matter how annoyed with him you may get.
And as Papa Vanderstappen always says, these are quality problems. You are stressed about grad school, but you are lucky to have the opportunity for higher education. You are stressed about Algebra, but lucky to have somebody to fight with. So voila! Off. Ledge.

And just like that, I put on mascara, a sun dress and my big girl panties and marched out the door to give my final presentation (with only minor eye puffiness from all the crying). The pep talk was just what I needed and Bianca’s part of my homework assignment turned out great, too.

Or perhaps it was the Xanax I took 30 minutes prior… either way, it worked.

Hugs, kisses and date night,
Bridget (and Algebra Forever)

Bianca,
I really couldn’t have survived yesterday without you and your pep talk (bowel jokes included). You saved my ass (bowel joke?). I really appreciate it.
Bridget

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Wahhhhh! What’s wrong with me?!

Hey girls and happy fridizzle,

So, as you know, I’ve recently switched forms of birth control. I went from an IUD (which I loved and adored and never thought about) to The Pill. I haven’t really noticed a difference (now that I’m used to taking the blasted thing every day), but ever since I started taking The Pill, the WORLD HAS TURNED AGAINST ME. Yes, that’s right. The world. Everyone hates me. Algebra is constantly trying to hurt my feelings. I have no friends. I’m fat. My life sucks.

Wait a second… could this weepy, sensitive subhuman I’ve turned into be because of a new substance I’m putting into my body? I’ve been like this for approximately 8 weeks. I’ve been taking The Pill approximately 8 weeks. Coincidence? I think not. But until my gyno and I can arrange a time to meet up, I’m stuck with this blasted thing.

At least I’m aware of it now so I can try and control psycho self.

In case you were wondering, here’s a list of things that I’ve cried over since this blasted thing has taken over my soul:
-Spilled milk (swear to God)
-Sylvan commercials
-My friends being nice to me
-A Fiona Apple song (Paper Bag – so awesome, but tears, really?!)
-Algebra asking why I was being sensitive
-Being called a racist (this one is warranted, right?)
-One of my students being suspended (I won’t get to see him again this year :-()
-A Maya Angelou Poem
-My internet not working
-Rewriting my resume
-A polynesian dance assembly

Seriously? I need an appointment with my gyno or a therapist stat. In other devastating news (actually this time), my childhood dog might have some sort of crazy heart problem (at least it’s not cancer like we thought). Maybe I can cover all my silly tears with actual tears on this one (even if I am crying because I can’t find a matching shoe).

WAHHHHHHHHH,
Bridget

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