It sure is nice to hear my voice again, isn’t it? I have been so all-over-the-place-lately I haven’t had time to sit down and write you an e-mail in over two weeks. I have, of course, seen you both since then but haven’t had a chance to catch up at all. Which is why I’m very much looking forward to wine and the arts with you tonight.
I’ve really missed blogging lately, too. I have no idea what our fellow bloggers are up to. Like if Lucky has seen Ralphie lately, or if Gizzy is digging her new digs, or if Gina knows the sex of the baby, or if X has pissed off any librarians, or how Rod is doing filling Al’s soggy shoes… I’m looking forward to not working at all today and using my impossibly slow internet to catch up.
I have noticed, however, that our blog has been getting a lot of strange attention lately. Not by bloggers, but by google searchers. Thanks to an e-mail of mine crediting Liam Neeson with being fabulously well endowed, and an e-mail of Bridget’s trying to decode Spanish, we have hundreds of hits from terms like, “Well endowed celebrities” and “Como se dice ass hole in Espanol” (It’s fundio in case you wanted to know, it seems like a lot of people do.)
I picture someone searching for a picture of Liam Neeson’s infamous package, seeing a site called Prius Envy thinking it sounds extra promising, then seeing our pink cartooned girly site with no gratuitous pictures whatsoever. Penis puns can be so misleading.
I understand getting hits like that, I would assume 75% of internet usage is for porn. But some search terms that bring traffic to our site just blow my mind. These are some popular searches:
Envy sex feet
Broke my leg again
sooo u shuld git it
do girls like prius?
sevgililer günü hediyesi
Go pee run sexy baby girl
Eric Bana well hung
Bridget finished with grad school ha
Sushi Birth Control
Well endowed teacher
Well endowed boyfriend
Beach mean girl mind games
It sounds like tracks on an R. Kelly record.
Now, I get how if one searched “do girls like prius?” it would show our site as a possible match (the answer is yes). But let’s talk about some of the other ones here, “sooo u shuld git it”. To what post did this match? What day could we have possibly misspelled so badly to match that search to our site?
Also, I don’t remember blogging about فالنتاين lately.
What stands out to me the most is the amount of hits we get from people looking for sex. Do we really talk about it that much? I think it’s time to change the content of our daily e-mails. I feel like a pervert knowing that “pee girls” links to our site.
I don’t know if Eric Bana or Ryan Reynolds are well hung or if sushi is an effective form of birth control, and feel bad that we’re letting all of these inquiring minds down. I would feel better if people were linking to our site after searching things like, “how to deal with dysfunctional friends and family” or “Type A personality + packing a suitcase” or “how to pull of taking a fake sick day”.
With a little luck, maybe in the future we’ll be able to help these searchers find what they’re looking for. In the mean time, here is a gratuitous picture of a shirtless Ryan Reynolds.
Well + Hung + Dirty + Prius + Boo Boo + Git it,