The Knot, not.

A Thirsty Thursday to you both:

Just kidding, I’m still detoxing. Preston and I went to dinner last night at Vinto (Bailey, thank you for the recommend, it was delicious) and even taking a sip of his beer almost gave me a third hangover. If it weren’t for Bailey’s cocktail party this weekend, I would be on the wagon until Christmas. It’s on the wagon, right… Or does on the wagon mean you’re on the booze train like a fun bus? Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely excited for the party. I was just looking forward to giving my liver a break. Then again, who am I kidding, drinking in cocktail dresses is what we do best. (We need new hobbies.)

So in WTF news, I just got an e-mail from The Knot with the subject line: 9 months to go! 9 months to go until what, my wedding? Ha! At first I thought it was spam, but after scrolling down the page past the articles How to pick your bridesmaids and Why wedding cakes are out, I saw the date for this mystery wedding… This isn’t spam. I did this. It’s not a coincidence that the date for this thing is the anniversary of Preston and my first date. That means that shortly after we started dating, creepy 20-year-old me got on to theknot.com and set a date for our future wedding. I even picked out wedding dresses I liked (I know, I threw up in my mouth a little, too). Really, former self?

Did younger, more romantic me really want to be married at 25? What changed from then until now that I have a different view on marriage? My parents were just as divorced then as they are now, I was just as in love with Preston then as I am now, what’s wrong with me? I can’t even figure out if 20-year-old me had the problem, or if it’s future me. And why are wedding cakes out?

Maybe younger Bianca thought I would have made it by now and that marriage would naturally be the next step after finding my passion, climbing the corporate ladder and curing cancer while on a trip to Indonesia. Unfortunately, she was wrong. I don’t think we ever get there, which is awesome. Because when you’ve made it, where else is there to go?

That’s a sweet idea, but the likeliest story is that 25 probably sounded really old to my 20-year-old self, and planned her future wedding accordingly.

Moral of the story, I’m not getting married in 9 months.

Thinking of entering the Free Honeymoon contest,

-Bianca

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9 Comments

Filed under Bianca

9 responses to “The Knot, not.

  1. cordeliacallsitquits

    That is absolutely hilarious, and sadly sounds like something that I could have done myself.

    I’ve had some scares from The Knot’s sister site, the Nest, which I was apparently automatically signed up for as a Knot member after my wedding ended. I went along with it for a little while, but after one too many emails about pregnancy and babies and renewing married intimacy (we’re doing fine, thank you!), I finally unsubscribed. Just because I’m married doesn’t mean babies are going to follow (immediately, or ever). Age-specific deadlines are so silly.

    (But totally go for the free honeymoon contest!) 😀

  2. I couldn’t have said it better myself, Age-specific deadlines are the worst! Especially via an a.m. e-mail while enjoying my coffee.

    And a big wow to The Knot for having the gall to assume all of their brides are ready to procreate immediately after “I do”.

    -Bianca

  3. Teri

    Come on. You could do that really cool entrance dance if you get married…

    (Honestly, I just want to go to a kick ass bach party in Vegas. So please. Get married.)

    Love,
    Teri

    • T,

      Lets just go on a single’s appreciation weekend in Vegas instead!

      The three of us have perfected our French accent which is a sure fire way to get free drinks all night long.

      It’s also like being a fly on the wall because the men you’re talking to think you can’t understand when they say, “dibs on the mini skirt”.

      xoxo
      -Bianca

  4. Congratulations to your younger self,and congratulations to your current self as well. You both rock hard.

    • Thanks, Al.

      And I speak for the both of us when I say, I’m flattered. Although I feel you might be giving my younger self too much credit. The combination of a low alcohol tolerance and bad decisions often resulted in a lack of hard rocking.

      -Bianca

  5. Ummm this is amazing. I think we need pics of what you’ve picked out so far…

    -L

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