The Knot, not.

A Thirsty Thursday to you both:

Just kidding, I’m still detoxing. Preston and I went to dinner last night at Vinto (Bailey, thank you for the recommend, it was delicious) and even taking a sip of his beer almost gave me a third hangover. If it weren’t for Bailey’s cocktail party this weekend, I would be on the wagon until Christmas. It’s on the wagon, right… Or does on the wagon mean you’re on the booze train like a fun bus? Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely excited for the party. I was just looking forward to giving my liver a break. Then again, who am I kidding, drinking in cocktail dresses is what we do best. (We need new hobbies.)

So in WTF news, I just got an e-mail from The Knot with the subject line: 9 months to go! 9 months to go until what, my wedding? Ha! At first I thought it was spam, but after scrolling down the page past the articles How to pick your bridesmaids and Why wedding cakes are out, I saw the date for this mystery wedding… This isn’t spam. I did this. It’s not a coincidence that the date for this thing is the anniversary of Preston and my first date. That means that shortly after we started dating, creepy 20-year-old me got on to and set a date for our future wedding. I even picked out wedding dresses I liked (I know, I threw up in my mouth a little, too). Really, former self?

Did younger, more romantic me really want to be married at 25? What changed from then until now that I have a different view on marriage? My parents were just as divorced then as they are now, I was just as in love with Preston then as I am now, what’s wrong with me? I can’t even figure out if 20-year-old me had the problem, or if it’s future me. And why are wedding cakes out?

Maybe younger Bianca thought I would have made it by now and that marriage would naturally be the next step after finding my passion, climbing the corporate ladder and curing cancer while on a trip to Indonesia. Unfortunately, she was wrong. I don’t think we ever get there, which is awesome. Because when you’ve made it, where else is there to go?

That’s a sweet idea, but the likeliest story is that 25 probably sounded really old to my 20-year-old self, and planned her future wedding accordingly.

Moral of the story, I’m not getting married in 9 months.

Thinking of entering the Free Honeymoon contest,



Filed under Bianca

9 responses to “The Knot, not.

  1. cordeliacallsitquits

    That is absolutely hilarious, and sadly sounds like something that I could have done myself.

    I’ve had some scares from The Knot’s sister site, the Nest, which I was apparently automatically signed up for as a Knot member after my wedding ended. I went along with it for a little while, but after one too many emails about pregnancy and babies and renewing married intimacy (we’re doing fine, thank you!), I finally unsubscribed. Just because I’m married doesn’t mean babies are going to follow (immediately, or ever). Age-specific deadlines are so silly.

    (But totally go for the free honeymoon contest!) 😀

  2. I couldn’t have said it better myself, Age-specific deadlines are the worst! Especially via an a.m. e-mail while enjoying my coffee.

    And a big wow to The Knot for having the gall to assume all of their brides are ready to procreate immediately after “I do”.


  3. Teri

    Come on. You could do that really cool entrance dance if you get married…

    (Honestly, I just want to go to a kick ass bach party in Vegas. So please. Get married.)


    • T,

      Lets just go on a single’s appreciation weekend in Vegas instead!

      The three of us have perfected our French accent which is a sure fire way to get free drinks all night long.

      It’s also like being a fly on the wall because the men you’re talking to think you can’t understand when they say, “dibs on the mini skirt”.


  4. Congratulations to your younger self,and congratulations to your current self as well. You both rock hard.

    • Thanks, Al.

      And I speak for the both of us when I say, I’m flattered. Although I feel you might be giving my younger self too much credit. The combination of a low alcohol tolerance and bad decisions often resulted in a lack of hard rocking.


  5. Ummm this is amazing. I think we need pics of what you’ve picked out so far…


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