Good morning girls!
Bailey, I’m sorry to hear that your little effort in finding a job has produced little results. The good news is, that means when you put in major effort, it will produce major results (it’s science). I know that you’ll find the perfect job that rewards procrastination and has unlimited vacation and a vending machine that serves vodka.
Well it’s that time of year again, ladies! Preston and I get to choose our new free pass! Here’s how it works… Once a year, we get to choose a “free-pass” or FP as I like to call it. (An FP is a celebrity we would be allowed to sleep with in the unlikely event we ever got the chance. It is not considered cheating.) Once you choose your FP, they are your FP for a whole year. You can NOT change your FP once it has been chosen.
For example: My free pass right now is Ben Roethlisberger. I chose him before he became a creepy raper, but I was locked in to my decision. Well we are approaching 12/1, my friends, and I am looking forward to my upgrade.
I know what you’re thinking… Brad Pitt, Josh Duhammel, Mickey Rourke, but you’re wrong. This is a strategic game. Preston is a sucker and chooses people like Marisa Miller (please) year after year. Don’t get me wrong, my boyfriend is a catch. A perfect 10 in my eyes. But in what universe is he going to meet, charm, and bed a Victoria’s Secret model?! Do you know how easy it would be for me to hook up with Ben Roethisberger? Choose a gas station in Pittsburgh. Done.
I’m pretty sure Preston has locked in Katy Perry this year (she’s married. Fail #1). But I commend him for choosing a brunette this year, a surprising change. But now it’s my turn. I’ve been on this older man kick lately, and I’m having a hard time getting away from it. For example, how hot is Liam Neeson? (Disclaimer: I may or may not be attracted to him because of an article I read about well-endowed hollywood men. He was #1, followed by Colin Farrell.) Also, Clooney. But read: duh. However, stronger than my love for the silver fox is my love for the hilarious. So my list as it reads today is as follows:
#1: Andy Samberg
#2: Jimmy Fallon
#3: Liam Neeson
#4: Jason Segel
#5: Gerard Butler
Any suggestions? Remember, the goal is to choose a sexy celeb, but also one that could possibly result in boot knocking. If I know you two like I think I do, Bridget will recommend a nerdy foreigner and Bailey will recommend a ridiculously good looking hipster.
I’d say something like, McDreamy, but that pun has already been taken. Thanks, Grey’s Anatomy,