Cheeseburger Couch

Dearest Bridget,

Good afternoon! How is your day going, my friend? Mine is a Typical Tuesday: eating chocolate cake at my desk while editing ad copy. Lately I have been acting as if I am one of those people with a killer metabolism who can eat whatever they want. Only problem is, I’m not one of those people. I should be eating carrot sticks instead of carrot cake.

Whenever I’m feeling lazy, I always convince myself that I deserve it. I’ll pack my running shoes or yoga outfit to work so I can go straight to exercising when I’m off, but sometimes I just want to drive through Micky D’s and go home and eat it on my couch instead. I get away with it because I convince myself that I had a hard day, or I didn’t get my 8 hours of sleep last night, or I stubbed my toe earlier, so I deserve this cheeseburger and couch and maybe ice cream if I’m lucky enough to have it in the freezer (because lord knows I am waaaay too entitled to get off the couch and go to the store). What the hell is wrong with me, I don’t deserve any of those things. I deserve to get my ass to the gym and do some crunches. I’m going to ball park this and say that I “deserve” the cheeseburger couch about 60% of the time. That is so embarrassing to actually say out loud! Say it with me, “I skip out on exercising 60% of the time.”… Holy sh*t.

Well at least I’m admitting it. The first step is admitting that you have a problem, right? What’s the next step? (Hold on, I’m looking it up…) OK, Step 2: “A power greater than myself can restore me to sanity.” Seriously? Doesn’t that take the accountability away from the addict? Whatever, I’m not the expert, Wikipedia is. I’m going with this… A power greater than myself. Hmm. How about my running shoes! My running shoes can restore me to sanity! Too bad I didn’t bring them to work today because I “deserved” to sleep in this a.m. Ugh, I’m not off to a very good start. OK, My running shoes are going to restore me to sanity…

Yeah, I don’t know if this is really going to work for me, but I’ll let you know how it goes. I just hope my running shoes are louder than my alarm clock, because if they’re not I’m out of luck.

I hope you have a wonderful day with your 4th grade hoodlums.

Writing to you from Couchaholics Anonymous,


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