Miss Vanderbilt… Can I go pee?

Good Afternoon!

I’m still hungover from Saturday night and have a feeling it’s going to last a few more days. Now that I’m twenty-middle I just can’t party like I used to. I wish I was exaggerating, but three days later I still am having trouble waking up in the morning, need two cups of coffee just to get me going, and am popping Ibuprofen like it’s crack. But in case it’s not already known, this potential week long hangover is totally 100% absolutely worth every headache, stomach ache and “kill me now” moment. Bear Lake 2010 was the best weekend ever.

I’m not going to recap my favorite events since unfortunately, yours were overshadowed by a horrible bout of food poisoning. 😦 But at least you got to play ultimate frisbee in the lake and enjoy the first hour of the Risky Business theme party before you spent a romantic evening with the toilet. You poor thing, I can’t believe that happened. I hope you still had fun. And if there is any silver lining, I bet you don’t have a hangover.

But enough about toilets, HAPPY FIRST WEEK OF SCHOOL MISS VANDERBILT?! How are your new kiddos?! I can’t wait to meet those tiny little heathens. I heard there has already been a case of vomiting (what is the deal with kids and vomit?), and one of your students asked if you were Asian. Asian? Really? Bahahahahaha….. That is rich. With your brown hair and exotic looks, I can see how one could wonder about the origin of your origin, but Asian you are not. It looks like you might need to teach the newest batch of 4th Graders a little lesson in Geography. And well, people.

When I think about your highly organized, type-A self on the first day of 4th Grade, I can’t help but picture you as a miniature and female version of Arnold Schwartzenegger in Kindergarten Cop. “It’s not a tumor” “It’s nat a tuumuh”. And while I know you’ve practiced restraint, I’m sure you’ve wanted to scream “SHHHUUUT UP” at your kids in an Austrian accent more than a few times.

I remember crying on the first day of 4th Grade because Conner Hardgraves told me I had an armpit hair. My teacher, Mrs. Zimmer, gave him detention and after that she became my favorite teacher ever. I went home that night and shaved my hairless armpits.

I hope your first day of 4th Grade went better than mine, but also hope you learned the same lesson.

Wishing it was appropriate to nap at work,


Leave a comment

Filed under Awesome, birthday, school, travel, Vacation

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s