So before I tell you about the ridiculous moment I had this morning, I have to give you the back story to explain my behaivor usually reserved for the aged. I have been so busy with work lately, missing my deadlines, working on Saturdays, that I am just dying for relaxation time. And not even necessarily relaxation, more like detach from stress time. And I have found that de-stress methods come in many forms like yoga, reading my book, binge eating/drinking, crying while watching The Notebook, throwing my computer out of the window… the usual stuff. And while I know the most effective anti-stress method is exercise, lately I’ve only indulged in the bad-for-you variety. So last week when I was driving home and locked my radio dial on NPR, I became entranced with the voice of Robert Siegel, and found myself more relaxed than I’ve been in months without the help of Ben, Jerry, or Vodka. Instead of driving home, I drove up and down the canyons, listening to the soothing voices of public radio. This went on for over and hour (thank god I drive a Prius), but when I got home, I was so relaxed and in the best mood; work wasn’t even in the back of my mind. And ever since that evening, I’ve been hooked.
I’ve always enjoyed This American Life with Ira Glass (I mean, who doesn’t?), and Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me on Saturday mornings, but my car radio is usually reserved for Jay Z and Rhianna. Since my moment with Rober Siegel, I haven’t changed my radio station in over a week. I listened to Science Friday (Science. Friday.). They talked about moths, and I listened, and I loved it. Lepidopterology is the study of moths. People dedicate their whole lives to studying moths. They don’t have mouths. Moths don’t have mouths… See?! Who am I?!
So, I was listening to NPR this morning on my way to work, and there was this guy on there “a champion of ethics” talking about what is and isn’t ethical. And it was so interesting! (I can’t believe I’m talking like this, I realize how embarrassing this is). He had listeners call in and tell their story and the champion would tell them if their behavior was ethical or not. He brought up the age-old is is man by nature good or evil, and it OK to steal food to feed your child… What I learned was the least ethical people are the passive aggressive. But then a caller asked if the champion had ever been stumped before. And he told a story out of his own life about how he had caught his friend’s wife having an affair after seeing her at an obscure hotel. Here he is, this ethics master, faced with one of the hardest moral conundrums there is, and now he must act.
Here are the issues: If you confront your friend, you have no proof the affair is or was happening. Your actions can end a marriage and profoundly change the lives of many others, AND what if your friend didn’t want to know, OR already knew and chose not to act upon it. But you also have a duty as a friend to be honest and not a passive aggressor (the worst offender). Scholars have weighed in on this situation, and it is a pretty even split. One side argues that it is the responsibility of the cheater to come clean, but the other side argues it is your responsibility as a friend to report the unfaithful.
So here’s where my ridiculous moment came in… This radio program started at 8:30, and it was now 9:50. I got to work at 8:45 and sat in the parking lot this entire 65 minutes, listening to the champion, waiting to hear what to do in this horrible moral bind. I HAD TO KNOW!
The answer is: You have to know what your friend wants. Half of the callers don’t want to know if they’ve been cheated on, and the other half do. It is your responsibility to know your friend well enough to know whether or not to report the cheating. Well WTF! That is WAY too much responsiblity! I mean, I could guess what I think my friend wants, but what if I’m wrong and then do that horrible thing they mentioned about “profoundly changing the lives of others”. I dont know if I can handle that! I choose time traveling. That way you can avoid catching your friend’s significant other altogether. If Preston cheats, don’t tell me. Or do, I don’t know.
Moral of the story, I’m addicted to NPR and was over an hour late for work today because of it.
Reporting from WTFI in Salt Lake City,
Your pal, Bianca.