Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman

Oh girlfriend,
I’m having another quarter-life crisis. This happens every couple of months (or days depending on who you ask). It all started when I was talking to my adorable 8-year-old neighbor. (She can’t say her r’s, it’s the cutest thing in the wowld). She brought me over a friendship bracelet and we got to talking. She’s nervous about starting the third grade. I told her not to worry but my advice didn’t help her much. She doesn’t want to be an adult, she just wants to be a kid forever. I told her I know how she feels. Then she asked me the question. The question that brings me stress every time I hear it, What do you want to be when you grow up? I’m twenty something years old. Shouldn’t I know the answer to this by now? Shouldn’t I be on my way to that goal, or at least in the general direction? Sure I love my job, but is this what I want to “be”? No! But if not this, than what?  
I think our generation was screwed over by our doting parents. I was told my whole life that I was the most talented, atheltic, smart and beautiful girl out there. I don’t know if you know this about me, but I was the most wonderful kid in the whole world. Thanks Mom and Dad, but unfortunately you were wrong. Sure, I’m wonderful, but there are a lot of wonderful god damn kids out there, trust me. They’re the ones halfway through medical school while I dream about what I want to be when I grow up. Maybe had my parents gone with the notion that I’m the best Bianca instead of the best kid ever, I might’ve been more prepared for disappointment. Or at least have an answer for that pesky question.
When are we “grown up”? I know that I’m technically an adult, but it sure doesn’t feel that way. I’m still on my mom’s cell phone plan. I’m not a girl, not yet a woman. In the mean time, I’m going to ponder how to afford $50,000 for grad school while I come up with a title for my NY Times best selling novel. Or the content for said novel, potato potato (that saying doesn’t really translate when written).
In news from reality, even though you have shin splints and are miserable, I’m so excited for our half marathon in San Diego in 2.5 weeks! I’m excited to get out of town and away from the DWs who are on husband search 2010. Not to mention the beach and my family who I have been missing terribly as of late. SLC in NYC + B&B* = Happiness.
Love, dress-up, and playing pretend,
*B&B : Bed and Breakfast, but in this context, Bridget and Bianca.


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