Good Morning Bridge!
My business trip was great! Except they are so fashion-backwards out there, I looked like a million bucks in comparison. I thought Seattle-ites (Seattle-ins….. Satellites…) were super Metropolitan and fabulous, but I was wrong. They’re all frumpy and divorced. These women kept saying things like, “Hmm, well aren’t you just so lucky. I miss the days when I didn’t have a family to take care of so I could be put together like you.” What. Because you have kids you didn’t have time to wipe the lipstick off your teeth and take a shower? Give me a break. It was just a big step back in my fear of procreating. These women are admittedly miserable, and they attribute this to their families. Which brings me to my question of the day: Is there room for the traditional family in modern society?
We’re Twenty-Middle now. This means that our partners and potential partners could be our life-partners. In fact, it’s likely that the people we’re with right now, will be our life partners. Preston and I will be celebrating 4.5 years together next week. We’re happy, and he’s the most wonderful person I know, so I find no reason to fix or break this thing we’ve got goin’ on. But I know that our functional and traditional relationship will eventually lead to a traditional engagement, followed by one of those perfect spring weddings that you see in The Knot magazine, follwed by a traditional family with 2.5 toe-headed children, a golden retriever, and a white SUV. This is the most sickening idea of the life I always wanted. I know you’re confused right now…. On paper, this is excatly how it should go. I am Bianca. I was raised in suburbia. I was a cheerleader. I joined a sorority in college, and dated the fraternity presdent. This is just the next step in my textbook life, right? Wrong. Because this is reality:
Ten years after said perfect wedding and suburban life, Bianca puts on some weight, gets some crows feet, gets tired of raising her perfect children, and becomes a
cynical b*tch. Preston, out of necessity, finds himself in the arms of someone who is not so mean, fat, and old. Her perfect life suddenly comes crashing down and
she’s forced to move in to a condo and learn how to date again at 40 with part-time kids, golden retireiver and used Pontiac because she had to sell her white SUV to pay
for her expensive divorce from which she was left with nothing.
Times have changed. Mr. Brady is a closet homosexual and Marsha is 16 and Pregnant. It’s hard to make a marriage last these days, and who wants to put in the effort? I have too much pride to stand by my man like these politician and NBA wives, but can sympathize with them not wanting to go at it alone. It seems so much more efficient to forgo the whole dog and pony show, but then your forced to die alone. But is that the only reason to have children, so that there is someone out there who has to love you and take care of you when you’re 90 and divorced? Having kids just seems like so much pressure. What if I don’t like my kids? I don’t really like other peoples kids, there is a chance I won’t like mine! And if I do like them, what if they hate me? What if I get one of those kids with teen angst who harms animals and likes guns? What if I don’t hold the thing enough as an infant and they end up emotionally unstable? I don’t know if I could handle being responsible for making someone emotionally unstable.
I want to be HAPPY not just complacent. I want to be in love with Preston. I don’t want him to be my friend and companion, I want him to be my man. (Said with a grunt, like Maaa-hn). I just feel like you never see happy families anymore. You see happy independent people and miserable families. I literally believe you have a better chance of happiness if you get pregnant first, and then choose your partner. Because if they choose you with all of your baggage, you know it’s going to work. I just don’t want to be 40 years old and be judged by a Twenty-Something because I have lipstick on my teeth and didn’t have time for a shower.
In the age of self-indulgence and instant gratification, can a life long romance work, and can you have independence and a happy family at the same time?
Think about it, and get back to me. I’ll be awaiting your response as I breathe in to this paper bag after giving myself a nervous breakdown from this glimpse in to my future…
Stressed out in Salt Lake City,