Our Texts From Last Night

Normally we only post our sensationalistic emails, but last night’s text conversation was too good to keep to ourselves.  We think we’re funny, hopefully you do too!
 
Bridget:  Are you going to come run at the gym in the morn with me?
 
Bianca:  No.  Don’t judge me.  I love you.
 
Bridget:  Judging.
 
Bianca:  It’s hard to sleep on hydroxycrack.  It’s a good thing you’ve got the sleeping goods.
 
Bridget:  Uppers and downers.  This will not end well.  Ask Shirley Temple.
 
Bianca:  And Michael Jackson.
 
Bridget:  Hey.  That was tragic and is not going to happen to me.  I was referring to a mental break or a stint in a cush hospital for exhaustion and you go Michael Jackson on me?  Really, crack pusher?
 
Bianca:  I apologize.  What about Mariah Carey?  She had a weak sauce breakdown.
 
Bridget:  Thank you.  Much more my speed.  I was thinking more Lady Gaga cancelling tour dates and being “exhausted”… or Dave Chapelle, Bob Barker… or even Lil Bow Wow (is it just Bow Wow, now?).  All way better comparisons, LiLo.
 
Bianca:  Dibs on LiLo.  If a little breakdown equals that much weight loss, I’m in.
 
Bridget: I know, right?  I’d for sure go semi-crazy to be that skinny. Well, probably not because it could always backfire, Britney Style.  We’ve really seen a lot of celebs go to extremems.  Do you think people know how supafecked our generation is?  Even we have done a few crazy things to shed a few pounds.  Bianca, we attended a milatary style boot camp last spring. 
 
Bianca:  I was just thinking that same thing. We’ll look back on ourselves and hope our daughters aren’t this crazy.  But by then, there will be way more drastic measures they can resort to for weight loss.
 
Bridget:  Think how messed up previous generations thought the nexts gens were.  Morality is on the downhill, while entertainment is at an all time high.
 
Bianca:  I’ll take our iPresent over shoulder pads and coke binges any day.
 
Bridget:  A to the men, though did I hear shoulder pads are back in right now?  Anyway.  Kiss Samantha goodnight and give Dina a high five.  Xo.
 
Bianca:  Say hi to Nick Cannon for me.  I bet you sleep in a butterfly teddy with a full face of make up. Also, you used to be hot but now you are bizarre and overweight.  Nighty night!
 
Bridget:  God damn it.  How do you get anorexic lesbian and I get fat has been?
 
Bianca:  Dibs! Haha.  Go to bed.  I can’t stop laughing.

Note:  Bridget did not end up going to the gym the next morning because she was too sore and tired from the gym the day before (and Mariah Carey definitely would have stayed in bed, too).

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