Things You Must Understand (TYMU):
QDW= Our BFF, The Queen of All Drama Whores who joined us in Vegas last weekend.
BFF: Broad (who loves) Full Frontal
Welcome back from a long debaucherous weekend in Sin Citttay! I’m sorry this e-mail is a day late, but I am still hung-over(**). I still can’t believe the weekend we had. I’ve tried telling the story but people just think I’m lying (#).
Highlights of the trip according to ME:
Missing the flight by an entire day.
Why it rocked: QDW, you, and I, waking up at 5:00a.m. dressed to the nines for a glamorous day of shopping and drinking but instead choking down a hard dose of reality that we missed our flight. I love when the sky cab lady said, “How many girls does it take to get to the airport on the right day?… Obviously more than three… your flight was yesterday. Go inside, I can’t help you.” Then quickly scrambling for plan B considering the rest of the weekend was paid for…
Renting a one-way rental car for an impromptu roadtrip.
Why it rocked: Trying to explain to Budget Rent-a-car why we needed a one-way Hyundai. I’m pretty sure that she still doesn’t understand. I especially enjoyed our road-convos that consisted of shmashmortions, why the men QDW have slept with don’t count, hallucinogenic drugs and why we should never do them, and how we would have no friends if we had our own reality show. Which is a topic I will discuss in greater detail some other time when I can actually function (see (**)).
You getting pulled over.
Why it rocked: Our cop had a walrus mustache, smelled like moth balls, laughed at our jokes, and more importantly responded “absolutely” when I asked him if we could take a picture with him. After all of those laughs we shared, he still gave you a ticket for going 90. I’m pretty sure he fell asleep with the vision of a foursome that night. (Gross… I crossed the line. I’m sorry.)
Getting upgraded to a suite.
Why it rocked: Duh.
Getting roofied again (see (#)).
Why it rocked: It totally didn’t. I don’t remember anything after the mermaid, I couldn’t function on Sunday, and now there are pictures that will live in infamy forever.
You and QDW getting tattoos.
Why it rocked: Those tattoos are hilarious! Totally un-meaningful. QDW got a tattoo in a place you can’t see, and is still freaking out. Not that I’m one to talk…. I have only my ears pierced and have made love to only one penis, I’m the least hard core, but that’s how Preston likes it.
Having a priceless (yet super expensive) weekend in Vegas.
Why it rocked: From what I can remember…. we had a MF blast and were for the most part treated like celebrities! Free champagne? Yes, please! VIP Section? You know it! Waiting in line and paying a cover? Wouldn’t think of it! Who knew three Salt Lake City girls would be such a big deal in Vegas?
Back to reality.
How is the ambiguous pseudo relationship? What is the *wink wink* timeline? (I hope you know that wink wink implies sex.)
On a completely irrelevant side note: We turn Twenty Middle this year. One of the DWs has to at least get engaged in 010 if not married. This is the age that women start to freak out about being single, especially our friends (who have been freaking out about needing a plus one since their first communion). I need your thoughts on this.
Peace, Love and Liberals,
B to the i to the a-n-c-a.