While I may be giving off signs that I am, for lack of a less nauseating word, smitten with New Guy, rest assured that I am still your ever cynical, always sarcastic, bad to the bone, friend.
I am proud, though not surprised; you were able to match each DramaWhore to their New Year’s Eve behavior. They were certainly a handful, but what can I say? I love ‘em all (even when I’m threatening to eviscerate them one by one). For without them, my life would be drama free and far too simple.
And now on to Commitment Jam 2010… (Where do you come up with this stuff?)
We all know that I am a commitment-phobe and am totally terrified of all things relationship oriented. It was long before the Chernobyl sized disaster of a break up I just went through with Hacking, but hopefully won’t continue for long after. I may be ready to dump the dread and attempt a committed relationship (wow, I didn’t even have to pop a Xanax before or after typing that sentence… progress?).
In an attempt to let go, I’ve totally forgiven Hacking for being a lying, cheating, double life living, no good, rotten, ass kissing, proposing marriage via email after we broke up, loser with no future. I see no need to harbor any bad feelings for him and his fake tan, bad jeans and spiky hair (that will no doubt get him an audition for a later cast of Jersey Shore). In all honesty, I’ve moved on and am at total peace, but I reserve the right to mock him whenever I feel necessary or burn a life size voodoo doll if I see fit… deal?
(*Note: If you and my mom have already created and burned a Hacking size effigy, I’ll have to think of something new.)
New Guy is great and his pro’s far outweigh anything I (we) might perceive as a con. Though, the tight white pants of the lead singer of his band are very concerning (for his sperm count more than anything else).
In other news, Toyota recalled eight models of cars! Take a deep breath though, love! Our Prius’ are safe and all is right with the world.
Koala Bear Hugs and Hybrid Synergy Drive Dreams,