I got an update for ya…

-I got married.

Algebra and I went through with it! We tied the knot in December 2011. It was perfect. All of Algebra’s friends and fam were in from Chicago and all the DramaWhores were there and on best behavior. After the nuptials, toasts and dancing we all went to the bar where Algebra and I met, conveniently located across the street from the venue. I went in my wedding dress, everyone drank too much and my mom was kicked out of the bar.

I told you it was perfect.

-I got pregnant.

Algebra and I decided that we’d be ready for a new addition to our family – and not another dog! My doc told me it could take a year for a healthy couple to get knocked up and that there’s only ONE day a month you can actually conceive (Did you know that?).

We decided to start trying earlier than anticipated since it might take awhile.

Two weeks later…

I think that’s all the details you’d like.

-I got my Masters.

Finally. Finished.

It was long and boring and I had to make many websites using HTML coding. I can’t talk about it more than that.

-I got a new job.

I had to give up teaching my amazing fourth graders to teach teachers how to use technology in their classrooms. Now, I spend my days surrounded by iDevices and troubleshooting. Playing on my iPhone is encouraged. It’s amazing (especially right now as I’m on maternity leave).

-I got (had?) a baby. 

He’s perfect. Labor and delivery were terrible. Terrible. But that’s another story for another blog.

The little nugget’s name is Mayor Ted as he now runs my entire world. Being a mom is different than I expected, harder, but I do love it and I’m learning so much.

Xo,

Mama

Shit, I mean Bridget

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I trust you.

Sorry for another video post sans explanation of disappearance and reappearance… but this is pretty awesome.

Bianca, pee *before* you watch this clip.

For the record, I totally trust that you ladies would drop me for similar YouTube fame.

Taking a self proclaimed snow day even though I’m still on maternity leave,

Bridget

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I <3 VP Biden

Bianca and Bailey,

Whoa! Where have you ladies been?! What? I’ve been MIA, too? Weird. It seems like just yesterday it was my 26th birthday and now… I’m an elderly 27, married with my very own spawn. I guess an update is in order. Later, when I have time.

Anyway…

Is it totally wrong that I think this is awesomely hilarious and not offensive at all? Maybe the Vip and Brent Musburger (the ESPN dude who was “admiring” the QB’s gf during the Notre Dame/Alabama game) need to meet up and be BFF’s!

Xo, Bridget

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Twenty Middle Plus One

Oh hey there Bianca and Bailey!

How are my two favorite partners in crime? Our lack of blogging seriously disturbs me and has truly worried out gal (pen) pals at Cocktails at Tiffany’s (sorry ladies, we’re trying, I promise!). They even played virtual Marco Polo to find us. But like the master himself, Waldo, we’re still kind of lost (in the blogging world, career path place and on boot buying blvd).

It was great hanging out with you ladies on Saturday night. I love our impromptu pub crawls. They’re always just the perfect length (since we set the rules) and it was the perfect way to celebrate our good friend’s twenty middle plus one birthday. (Bianca-thanks for sharing your feather earrings with Algebra, er, Bear Paw, that was totally necessary.)

{Picture me floating through a worm hole from right now to a year ago from now}

Aw, the good ol days. Last year. All we could email about was how afraid we were to turn twenty middle. Le sigh. Your twenty middle plus one birthday has come and gone (unblogged about, sad. I heard there was a no pants party?) which means it’s my turn. Whatev. I feel like it’s not even a big deal. There’s so much going on that I couldn’t tell you what day of the week my birthday is. I think it’s a Tuesday? Wednesday? Anyway. We’re heading to Mile High with QDW to celebrate like we did for my Twenty Middle Minus One birthday and I feel like it will be a great little girl’s weekend to bring in the fall (and craziness that will ensue).

Craziness Ahead:
-Football season continues (Pac 12 what? Pass me a 12 pack, I’ll be tailgating)
-Algebra’s band plays The Big Ass Show (Seriously, that’s what it’s really called)
-Halloween (Costume ideas, anyone?)
-Thanksgiving (Bridget in Denver. Bailey in ?. Bianca in ?)
-Fall Semester Wraps Up (Bridget’s next to last, prepare to call her Master Bridget or Master Bates, whichever)
-Bianca finishes the book Bridget gave her and decides on a career path which takes her abroad to Bangladesh and she narrowly misses Bridget’s wedding (at which point Bridget regrets giving her the book in the first place)
-Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza/Ramadan(?)
-Bridget’s Wedding
-New Years
-2012
-World Ends.

Seems like a lot of craziness, but since the list (not me) brought up the wedding, I can talk about it. It’s three months away. Seriously. Look at a calendar. Three months (ok, three months and two days, but whoa). How did that sneak up on us? Let me put it in perspective for you: Approximately three months ago it was the fourth of July.

{Pause for everyone to regain consciousness}

I thought I had everything pretty “planned and together.” But now, I’m thinking not so much. Even worse, I don’t know the things that I still haven’t done. Sh!t.

Gotta go.

Hitting theknot.com so they can tell me how behind I am,
Bridget

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Big Bang or Big Man?

Hey girls,

I email you from a day long 8-4 training. Thank goodness I brought my “off task tools.” Read: iPad, iPhone, iAnything.

Now, I promise not get too deep, but I find myself questioning the existence of a “higher power” a lot lately. I’ve always considered myself an “optimistic agnostic.” Meaning, I’d love it if I found a religion I could believe in, would welcome the existence of a God, but am pretty skeptical.

Let me start out giving you a teeny bit of background information. I grew up going to church and going to a Catholic school. We went to church *most* Sundays until I started comparing myself to Jesus at which point my parents knew I wasn’t getting the message and we stopped. This happened probably around the same time in the bible where Jesus skips from childhood to adulthood (there I go comparing again…).

Anyway, I’ve never been super religious and since about the time I got my driver’s license was very skeptical of all religions.

A few weeks ago Algebra and I watched Curiosity on the Discovery Channel. It was Stephen Hawking explaining why there is no creator (before the big bang, there wasn’t time, there wasn’t anything, so there can’t be a God). It kind of made sense to me, but this is where I always get stuck on my agnostic-ness. How can something come from nothing? If there wasn’t a universe before the Big Bang… what/who created the big bang? Maybe my brain is just not built to understand…

The next thing that has spurred my recent conundrum is karma. I really believe in karma. You get what you give. If you’re a jerk to someone, someone will undoubtedly be a jerk to you (probably when you least need any jerkiness in your life). You hit someone’s car and run, something bad will happen to your car. How does karma exist if there is no higher power? Positive/negative energy just knows where to go? I think not.

And more! What about coincidence?! How does just the right thing/person land in your lap just when you need it most?

I don’t know. Do you good catholics have any advice for me? Algebra is catholic, too, and I’m wondering if I should stop trying to brainwash him and maybe just go with his quasi-religiousness.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to become some crazy religious freak (I don’t know that I can ever except the bible to be the word of God or a lot of other stuff that I’m not going to say at risk of being stoned), but I’d like to know – what is the middle ground? How am I supposed to raise my future children? Am I going to hell for writing this?

Peace be with you,
Bridget

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Broke as a joke – except it’s not funny.

Hi Girls,
 
I’m broke. I apologize for the lack of pleasantries but I’m just being honest. I don’t have any money. I’d like to blame it on Summer activities but you know I will say the same thing in the Fall – “Oh how my wallet suffers when the leaves change”…”I need boots so I can’t meet you for free TV watching on account of a lack of gas in my car”. 
 
I make a comfortable living appropriate for a twenty-middleian. Comfortable enough that I should be able to pay for rent, bills and a car and still have some room for savings and spending money. But it feels like I pay the first two and then I’m significantly out of funds. 
 
This could be (is) attributed to Wells Fargo and the monster it has created – myself. Have you heard of “direct deposit advance”? If you haven’t, pretend like you didn’t hear this because it will ruin your life, too.
 
As a checking account owner at WF you are entitled to an advance on your pay check. Up to $1000 a month. It’s like a credit card, but with impossibly high interest rates – I’m talking 20 – 30%. The difference between this and a credit card is that it is immediately taken out of your paycheck as it is deposited so you don’t have to worry about paying it off. It’s relatively worry free on the surface.

What Direct Deposit Advance Feels like

 Lets just say I have taken advantage of it. Instead of using it as a necessary bail out, it’s become my shopping fund. After doing the math of what this will cost me at the end of the year if I use it consistently each paycheck ($2,400) I’ve tried to limit my use of this horrible crutch. 

Reality

 
You might think I have been eating out less or cutting back on Whole Foods’ ridiculousness (why is it so expensive?!), but no. I’ve become a delusional entitled idiot.
 
Yesterday I got a strange looking piece of mail with pull tabs on each side. Instead of assuming it was an ad like a normal person would I assumed – no, knew it was a check. A big fat check for me from somebody who owed me money. Why would anybody just give me money? Irrelevant. It was a check for a million dollars because, duh. What else would it be? I am Princess Bianca and people just send me money because I am a good person and karmically I deserve this.
 
I’m not kidding, I seriously thought it was a check.
 
Imagine my disappointment when I saw it was a coupon for auto insurance. What the hell is wrong with me?! Obviously nobody is sending me any money. I’m not part of a law suit, I don’t have a mystery inheritance and I declined the Nigerian Prince on his promising investment opportunity.
 
If I’m banking on the fact that my financial problems will be resolved by random checks in the mail, I need help. Help me.
 
Other than financial ruin, I am absolutely loving the late Summer. I can’t wait to spend money with you two tonight biking and drinking about town.
 
Mo Money Mo Problems (psh… yeah right),
-Bianca

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BAILEY IS ALIVE!

Girls,
I apologize profusely for sucking at emailing lately. Bridget, I am so sorry about your loss but I’m glad it worked out. Seriously that feeling is the worst. Bianca is the best to go to in those “see the brighter side of things” situations. That is unless she is in need of one, in that case there is no positive outcome, but that’s another story.

Anyway I know I have been extremely MIA, and I honestly have no great reason. Yes, I have had a few vacations to Sun Valley & Napa but it’s not like I’m backpacking through Thailand or something (btw when can we do that?). The farthest I have made it is Canada. Which I is just like ‘Merica just a little bit worse. I’m off to Vegas this weekend, Montana the next and then California. I hope I can get in some qbt (quality blogging time) with my fav Prius ladies.

Once all my Thurs-Mon adventures are over, it’s September…wtf! I swear the three of us haven’t even had a chance to get day drunk yet. Maybe someday next week? Bianca you might have to take a late lunch and call out because you got salmonella from your turkey burger (there’s a crazy recall, check it out). Then the day will be ours. We will be cruising around on our cruisers (I haven’t even used mine yet, it’s all about the intense street biking these days…bored). We will look back and say, man that was an awesome Wednesday. I’m serious about this, not just saying it for the sake of our blog.  We won’t regret it…

Let's day drink and ride bikes, but not like this guy...

So what do you think? I’m totally open next Tuesday or Wednesday after 4pm. Bridget/Bailey – this WILL happen. I miss you both dearly and don’t hate me for having too horrible of ADHD to sit down and write a blog. Anyone have some medication I can try?
 
Guest Blogger,
Bailey

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